


What Child Is This?

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Drama, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-05-03
Updated: 1999-05-03
Packaged: 2018-11-10 18:42:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11132559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Fraser's son comes to Chicago looking for his father. How will Ray cope?





	What Child Is This?

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

WHAT CHILD IS THIS?
    
    
     
    
    # WHAT CHILD IS THIS?
    
    
    
    Introductory Remarks
    
    A couple of weeks ago there was a strange post on this List commenting
    on a story no one here - except that one person - had read yet called
    WHAT CHILD IS THIS?  Well I'm going to clear up that mystery for you
    all now and let you in on what that was all about.  A month ago I got
    an e-mail from an on-line friend, who said:
      
    "In the series, we meet Ray and Ben when they're about 35 or so.  But,
    other than what you writers come up with, we don't know anything about
    their pasts.  I've been thinking that it would be very 
    interesting if Ben suddenly found out about a son/daughter he never knew
    about.  The mother was an old girlfriend of Ben's, about 10 or 15 years
    back, that never told him they had a child.  She suddenly dies and leaves
    the child to Ben and Ray, since Ben and Ray are 
    lovers.  I think it would be interesting to see how their 
    relationship would change and how each would react to Ben having a child."
    
    He told me he'd had this idea for a story stuck in his head and asked
    if I'd write a story for him based on it.  Well as soon as I read this,
    my imagination took off and I felt possessed.  It just started to write
    itself, words pouring out from my mind to my fingers to my PC.  Still
    early into the story, I was struck by inspiration on how I could meet
    our DS archive owner's challenge she put forth for me a while back. She
    had snuck a Christmas category on her archive when I wasn't looking.;->
    I had been feeling pretty smug before that, that I had a piece of fiction
    in each of her categories... until then.  What was I to do?  I felt compelled
    to have a christmas story now too.  I asked her about it and of course
    she threw down the gauntlet.  So thanks to Shawn Adams and Amanda Cook,
    my latest story WHAT CHILD IS THIS?  was born.  If you like the story
    you have them to thank.  This story is dedicated to them both.  If you
    don't like the story, then put the blame on me for not living up to their
    challenge.  So far this officially is my longest story to date.  Now
    for the warnings and additional ramblings: 
    
    **-  Male/Male throughout (tame)
    -  Male/Female in one part (somewhat graphic)
    -  I used bad language in one part.  Mea culpa.
    -  I'm a self-professed sap, so be forewarned SAP ALERT! 
    -  Hurt/Comfort.  See the warning before this one.
    -  Recommend that you've seen MANHUNT.  I had fun with this episode.:- >
    ** -  I couldn't resist.  There are 2 epilogues attached to the end
    called WHAT CHILD DID THIS?  and MY CHILD DID THIS 
    -  FYI, here's some Northwest Territories information that I found out
    while writing this story, which I figured I'd share.  Iqaluit used to
    be called Frobisher Bay until 1987.  It is where in 1576 the British
    explorer Martin Frobisher thought he discovered the Northwest Passage
    and gold - turned out to be 'fool's gold' though.  And according to AAA/CAA
    is also "...one of the largest communities in the Eastern Arctic and
    the educational,
    administrative, transportation and economic center for the Baffin region
    of the Northwest Territories.  The town also is a focal point for Inuit
    art and boasts numerous art galleries."  I tried to look up Moosejaw
    and Runamuckluk, but no 'luck' so far.  They're either too small to garner
    any notice in my source book or just fictional towns that the DS writers
    made up.  I was able to find Inuvik.  Sounds like a neat place/area;
    with lots of festivals; and June and July has 24 hours of daylight; starting
    point for plane trips to the Arctic Ocean and Mackenzie River delta system.
    I found Tuktoyaktok - its not mentioned in my story, but Fraser has referenced
    it before, especially in his joking with Ray in SOME LIKE IT RED - love
    the comment about it in regards to Runamuckluk.  Tuktoyaktok is relatively
    nearby Inuvik, both in the northwestern part of the Territories, close
    to the Yukon border.  There was a major alternative music concert here
    last year.  I really wanted to go, but I believe it was an invitation
    only concert sponsored by a number of radio stations.  I also found Alert
    - I don't mention it in my story, but  Fraser mentioned living there/being
    stationed there(?) in one of the episodes and I was curious to know where
    it was.  Wow is that way the heck up there in the very Northeasternmost
    tip of the Territories.  Very close to Greenland.  According to my map
    its considered to be in the Baffin region as well (So there is a connection
    to my story afterall... sort of.  Ok so I'm pushing it.).  Alright
    enough with the geography lesson.  There will be a pop quiz on this when
    I post the story I'm working on now which also makes references to the
    Northwest Territories.:->  I'll shut up now.  
    -  Can't think of any other warnings.  Except to apologize that I should
    have warned you about my Fraser-like pedantic nature when I did the geography
    lesson above.;->
    
    Hope you enjoy the story.:-> 
    
    

# WHAT CHILD IS THIS?
    
    
    He was running scared; sixteen years old and already he
    thought he knew it all, but what he'd heard tonight his
    young life hadn't prepared him for.
    
    He'd left Runamuckluk a week ago after packing a knapsack
    and hitching a ride in a pickup truck, unbeknownst to the
    driver.  A couple of hours later, it stopped at a gas
    station diner in a backwater town - they were all backwater
    towns up here, one just the same as the other.  He was tired
    of living up here, he wanted the adventure and excitement of
    the city, which he sometimes saw on tv or in the movies.  He
    especially wanted to get away from painful memories and the
    man he had once called his father.  They'd always had an
    awkward relationship; like familiar strangers.  He'd never
    felt good enough or smart enough or loved enough by the man.
    There was always a chilly distance between them.  His mother
    had been the link that held their family together, he still
    missed her terribly, and when she'd died so had his sense of 
    being a 'family'.
    
    He recalled now the final blow that had decided him on this
    rocky course of action he followed.  His father had been
    away for a couple of days, due to his work, leaving him with
    his grandmother *again*.  When his father had returned he
    was in a foul mood, which should have warned him to stay
    clear, told him to give his father a wide berth, but it
    wasn't going to happen like that.  At dinner he'd done
    something clumsy and stupid, yet no real harm had come of
    it, but it just set off a chain reaction that culminated in
    his running away.  His father had chewed him out unfairly,
    so hurt by this treatment he found himself angered and
    mouthing off, which surprised him because he'd never really
    done this before.  Usually he was the model of etiquette,
    politeness, and control but that night he couldn't stop
    himself, the tension between the two of them had mounted so
    much, that he just lost his control.
    
    His cool blue eyes flashed and a battle of wills ensued,
    then those fateful words were uttered and quickly reined
    back in.  "God, you're just like your father."  Those words
    startled him, when they finally penetrated and he'd seen the
    look on his father's face, regretful at having said it and
    trying to take it back.  Had he heard him right?  He was
    talking nonsense now, he had to be.  What was this talk as
    if the man he was fighting with now wasn't his father?  His
    concern was voiced as if his father were going insane, and
    incredulous he tried to laugh it off.  "What?  What are you
    talking about dad?  Have you lost it?  You're my father.
    Right?"  His father had calmed down quite a bit as he
    hastily replied.  "Of course Paddy.  Who else would I be?"
    His father had forced a laugh which sounded hollow, but
    Patrick, called by the Irish nickname 'Paddy' by his family
    and friends since as long as he could remember, accepted it
    at face value.
    
    Later that night when his father and grandmother had thought
    he was asleep, he eavesdropped on them, especially because
    he'd heard his name mentioned.  Listening in the dark
    hallway outside the living room where they sat he heard
    something which would change his life forever.  "Bruce I
    know you're stressed with work and Julie's death bringing
    Paddy into your life full time now, but you shouldn't have
    taken it out on the boy.  I can't believe you said that to
    him.  You promised Julie that you'd never tell him that he
    wasn't your son."  The voice which responded back seemed
    deflated and sad. "I know.  But sometimes I just look at
    Paddy and all I see is Fraser..."  The rest of the
    conversation was also enlightening but a bit of a jumble to
    his overwhelmed mind, as Paddy silently slid down the
    hallway wall, his face a picture of shock...
    
    Two questions kept taunting him over and over. *Who am I?
    Who's Fraser?*  Out of the recesses of his memories, he
    recalled visiting with grandpa Buck once and seeing a photo
    his grandfather had of himself as a young mountie standing
    beside another mountie, both in their uniforms.  He'd asked
    him who the man with him was and was told he was an old good
    friend named Robert Fraser.  The picture was very old and
    the guy was around grandpa Buck's age.  His father, or the
    man he once thought was his father, couldn't have meant him
    he thought to himself.  His mind was racing trying to put
    this puzzle together.  It was starting to make some sense to
    him now.  He always assumed that the reason he didn't
    resemble his *father* much was because his looks favored
    more his mother's side of the family.  They were mostly
    light complexioned, fair haired or blonde with hazel colored
    eyes.  His 'father's' family all were of Irish descent with
    dark or auburn hair and most of them were brown or green
    eyed.  Paddy's looks were what most people would consider
    strikingly handsome, especially the young girls his age, who
    fell all over themselves trying to get his attention and
    affection.  His teenaged build was tall and well muscled
    with broad shoulders.  His hair was a sandy blonde; he was
    light skinned; and his youthful face looked chiseled by a
    masterful artist; but what captured most people's attention
    were his beautiful bottomless blue eyes.  That feature made
    him stand out the most and neither side - mother or father -
    had eyes like this.
    
    Paddy's whole world had just been turned upside down,
    leaving him to worry, because he didn't know who he was or
    where he belonged.  He felt he understood now why the man he
    thought was his father had treated him the way he did all
    these years.  Hearing the occupants of the other room start
    to get up to leave it, he hurried quickly back to his room
    and plopped down on his bed.  He couldn't sleep, he was too
    keyed up for that, instead he lay there thinking things
    through.  He recalled now how his grandfather had
    disappeared for a short time 2 years ago and his mother had
    been beside herself with worry.  She'd gone to the US, to
    Chicago, to get help from a mountie, who he remembered now
    had also been named Fraser, he'd overheard the name
    mentioned when she'd come back.
    
    His thoughts now turned to the belief that because he wasn't
    really his false father's son, he could never be loved or
    wanted by him... like if he were 'his' own son.  This belief
    of Paddy's hurt, and before he truly thought things out, he
    was packing what he could carry in his knapsack and on
    himself.  He decided he wasn't going to stay where he didn't
    belong, with someone who he felt really didn't want him.
    He'd lived with his mother when his parents had divorced 5
    years ago, and only these past 2 months, since his mother's
    death, had he come to live with his father and sometimes
    with his grandmother who lived nearby.  He had a loose plan
    working its way out bit by bit now, he'd find his real
    father or at the very least just see what he looked like.
    Paddy waited until the early morning hours to make his
    journey.  He had overheard a drifter in his grandmother's
    general store this morning talking on the phone. He said
    he'd meet someone in Pipersville, three hours away, leaving
    at first light.  Paddy had snuck out of the house dressed as
    warmly as he could for the weather of early December.  He
    located the guy's truck and climbed into the back, covering
    himself up with a tarp back there.  He figured he'd hitch a
    ride with him for a while, then find a way to continue due
    south.
    
    At the gas station diner he'd heard the guy fill up the tank
    and then saw him enter the restaurant, leaving Paddy with
    his golden opportunity now.  He'd come up with this part of
    his plan while shivering in the back of the truck.  His
    gloved, but still frozen feeling hands, managed to open the
    driver's side door which was left miraculously unlocked,
    upon further notice it actually was broken from someone
    having forced it open once before.  He was familiar with the
    inner workings of cars from reading manuals about them at
    the libraries he frequented, and from having maintained his
    mother's old car on occasion.  Paddy was normally
    remarkably patient and good with his hands, so that he soon
    had the pickup truck hot-wired.  He had some money that he'd
    been saving up to buy an old used car of his own, stashed in
    his pocket, making him think, *Guess I won't be needing that
    used car.  I've got a free one now.*  Pulling out of the
    parking lot he caught up with the main highway that would
    take him over the border.
    
    He was pleased that all his reading was really starting to
    pay off, especially when an idea from one of the many
    adventure novels he'd read came to mind, as to how to sneak
    his way across the US-Canada border.  Extremely nervous
    about doing something else illegal, when he came in view of
    the border he almost backed out of his plan.  Gathering his
    courage and resolve he'd somehow managed to get across
    unnoticed and was well on the road towards his destination.
    He was so tired and cold by the time a week had passed of
    driving and sleeping in that chilled pick up truck to reach
    his goal.  But as soon as he saw the skyline of the city
    beckoning him, he knew that Chicago was where he wanted to
    be... where he needed to be.  It was just a matter of
    finding this Fraser guy now.  Paddy was apprehensive about
    meeting him, still just curious more to see who he was,
    rather than introduce himself saying *Hi.  I'm your son.*.
    He wondered if this guy even knew he existed?  Even if he
    didn't have the courage to introduce himself, at least he
    wasn't back in that going-nowhere-town in Canada, but here
    in this large city he could make his own way in the world.
    He was smart, he was sixteen, he figured he could master the
    world and take care of himself.  
    
    His first day in the city he had located the Canadian
    Consulate where he figured would be the most likely place a
    mountie would be stationed.  He wasn't disappointed when he
    drove by it and saw a man in a very familiar serge uniform
    standing at his post in front of the building.  *How many
    mounties could there be in Chicago?* he asked himself, so he
    assumed this must be the one he was looking for.  Paddy had
    driven by a couple of times to get a better look at the man,
    who never seemed to blink or move at all.  It was cold
    outside, but the man didn't seem to notice or care.  He'd
    parked the truck near enough to the consulate that he had a
    vantage point of being able to watch the mountie, but at the
    same time not be noticed.  He observed him from afar, noting
    the strangers and tourists gawking at the man or trying to
    make him react, but none could succeed in breaking his
    concentration and vigil.  At 5PM a church clock nearby
    chimed the hour and he came to life instantly.  A green '71
    Buick Riviera pulled up alongside the curb in front of him.
    Paddy couldn't see the driver of the car well from his
    vantage point, but realized Fraser must know who it was,
    because he was opening the passenger door and for the first
    time that day he was displaying emotion.  His friend must
    have said something funny, because Fraser's face broke out
    into a broad smile and a laugh escaped him, as he held the
    backseat down for the wolf that was with him and entered the
    car.
    
    At a discreet distance he tailed the car to see where they
    were going, figuring it was most likely Fraser's home he was
    being led to.  At one long light he noticed that Fraser had
    moved closer to the driver of the car.  Paddy was tired and
    felt his eyesight was playing tricks on him when it looked
    as if Fraser kissed his friend on the cheek.  This surprised
    him because he had thought the driver was a man, but he
    still hadn't seen who it was well enough yet, and thought
    maybe now it was a woman; perhaps Fraser's girlfriend or
    wife?  But then he rationalized that what really happened
    must have been he whispered something over to the driver.
    That's how he left it in his mind.  The light had finally
    changed and soon after the Riviera stopped in front of an
    apartment complex in a seedy looking neighborhood.  All
    three occupants of the car exited it and he could see the
    other person better now, but from behind.  He was a very
    thin man about the same height as Fraser, wearing a winter
    hat and stylish long warm winter coat.  They seemed to be in
    good spirits as they entered the building.  Fraser's friend
    had his hand hovering right behind him for a few seconds,
    almost as if he was unsure where he wanted to place it, and
    then made contact with his left shoulder as they walked that
    way into the building.
    
    The driver of the car hadn't come back out in the time Paddy
    set up his vigil.  After a few hours though and having seen
    some suspicious looking people and activity on this street,
    he decided to find a better place to sleep for the night.
    He'd parked the truck in a hotel's parking garage that night
    and slept in the truck there.  The next day he went through
    the same routine, again seeing Fraser at his post, but this
    time Paddy was debating with himself whether or not he
    should get out of the car.
    
    ****************
    
    Fraser had been given this sentry duty, in the cold of
    December, by a vengeful Thatcher.  She had assigned him
    afternoon shifts of duty out here as punishment for his
    actions, which caused her to still be tangled up in a
    bureaucratic nightmare involving himself, Ray, pathological
    liar Ian MacDonald, the RCMP, the Chicago Police Department,
    the Canadian government, the US military and supposed UFOs.
    He winced inwardly whenever he would recall her chewing him
    out - rightfully so - when he'd returned from being detained
    by the US government, at one of their special bases he'd
    trespassed on.  Ray had been given some less then desirable
    duties as well by Welsh as punishment, and they'd barely
    seen much of each other for almost a week after that.  It
    had hurt Fraser, but he knew that Ray had needed that time
    away from him to calm down.  Ray had been furious with Ian
    and especially Ben, for having gotten him, against his
    better judgment, messed up with the liar once again.  In
    order to get back in Ray's good graces, Fraser had had to
    promise never to mention Ian or the incident ever again, and
    was told in no uncertain terms that if Fraser 'ever' asked
    for Ray's help again on something even remotely related to
    Ian, he could forget it and according to Ray - 'would have
    to find someone else to warm his bed.'  He knew Ray loved
    him deeply, and wondered if he would really follow through
    on this threat, should the mischievous and trouble following
    Ian cross their path again... Fraser prayed he'd never find
    out.
    
    While standing there mannequin-like, he recalled now how Ray
    had asked him once, how he could stand immobile for so long.
    He'd teased and confessed to him that although he was
    observant of what was going on around him, he detached a
    part of himself slightly by daydreaming of his lover.  This
    could keep him pleasantly occupied for hours.  Ray had
    laughed at that, but Ben could see that his lover liked his
    answer; especially when he was rewarded for it later that
    night.  Laughing to himself he remembered Ray asking him, as
    Ben lay in his arms after their having made love.  "So will
    this make it into those daydreams of your's Benny?".  He'd
    kissed him then playfully replying. "It should help keep my
    mind occupied for at least a couple of weeks, but I think it
    could last me a month if you would do that thing with ... oh
    yes... yesss... that's exactly what I meant... oh Ray
    there... please don't stop."  Fraser smiled inwardly to
    himself recalling that pleasurable night again - Ray would
    be pleased, this was one of his favorite daydreams and had
    lasted him well beyond a month now.  He was pulled from his
    reverie when his attention was called to that same pickup
    truck that had passed by him two times yesterday.  He
    noticed, without any outward sign that he had, that the
    truck had parked across the street about a block up.
    
    He saw, without seeming to see, that a young boy of about
    sixteen had gotten out and was walking across the street,
    then down the block, eventually passing right by him.  The
    boy pretended not to notice him as he passed by.  But to an
    observant Fraser, he could tell that something was wrong and
    it appeared as if the teenager was checking him out, perhaps
    wanting to - yet fearing to - talk with him about some
    trouble or another.  He'd observed that the boy looked
    agitated, tired, very cold, his clothes were rumpled most
    likely from having slept in them, and he hadn't bathed in a
    couple of days.  Fraser came to the conclusion that this kid
    was homeless and most likely a run away.  This boy had run a
    long way too he could tell from the pickup truck's license
    plates, which were from Fraser's home as well - the
    Northwest Territories.  The polar bear shaped plates were
    the main feature of the truck, which made him notice it
    right away yesterday and again today.
    
    Not one to ignore a person in need, especially a child from
    his own beloved home, he broke his sentry stance easily and
    followed after the boy.  This breaking from his assigned
    sentry duty was acceptable by emergency statutes of his
    handbook.  If while on sentry duty he should feel life
    threatened for himself or another in the vicinity he was
    empowered to act on his own initiative within certain
    guidelines.  Why else have a sentry if it weren't to look
    out for trouble and prevent it?  In this case the trouble in
    the vicinity of the consulate was this young man.  Who
    better to help him than someone from his own homeland, and
    representing the Canadian government here in the US.  He was
    right behind the boy now. "You know I'm always amazed how
    these people of Chicago can consider this cold.  Up in
    Inuvik, where I grew up, its so cold the polar bears wear
    parkas when they visit."  The boy had stopped suddenly
    startled and Fraser could see he was laughing, but trying
    not to, as he turned around to stare at the once immobile
    mountie he'd passed just moments ago.  The boy just replied
    "You should try living in..."  He stopped suddenly when he
    realized he was about to say something that would give him
    away.  He finished his sentence instead with a lie.
    "Inuvik, never heard of it.  Why're you following me?  I
    didn't do anything wrong."
    
    Fraser gave him one of his patented patient looks.
    "Actually I was going to ask you a similar question.  Why
    were you watching me?  I noticed your plates and that you'd
    driven by the consulate a couple of times yesterday and
    again today.  When you walked by me just moments ago, I
    thought I could help out a fellow native of the Territories.
    You appear to be a long way from home and perhaps lost?"
    The boy seemed disturbed when he'd mentioned noticing the
    plates, like they were something he should have thought of
    to disguise, and then the other comments seemed to make him
    more on edge, letting Fraser know he'd most likely hit too
    close to home for the boy, reasserting Fraser's belief he
    was a run away.
    
    The boy spoke again, trying to make it sound like the truth,
    but the way Fraser heard it he could hear the wheels turning
    in the boy's mind to come up with a story to appease him,
    make him go away.  "No.  Um, I'm here with my dad.  Ah...
    visiting family.  I'm gonna be late, so well... if its ok
    I'd like to go now."  Fraser gave the boy a concerned look,
    like he wasn't buying the story, but couldn't come up with
    an excuse to keep the kid there with him any longer.  "Oh.
    I see.  Well I don't want to keep you from your family.  I'm
    sure they must be worried about you.  Especially you not
    being from around here and out on your own in the city.  Its
    quite different from the Territories isn't it?  It can be
    very dangerous."  The boy gave him a strange look wondering
    if Fraser had caught on to him.  The way Fraser said those
    things to him was almost as if he were underlying it with
    something else, but Paddy couldn't tell. "Yeah, well, its
    ok.  I'm old enough to take care of myself.  I've been
    around cities before and my family doesn't worry about me."
    Fraser's mind raced for a way to get the kid to open up to
    him, he could still sense the kid was afraid of something,
    and felt there was a reason the boy had been drawn to the
    consulate and possibly even to him in particular. 
    
    "I'm sure they do worry, no matter whether you're
    sixteen..."  he noticed the reaction he'd gotten out of the
    boy, making him realize he'd guessed right about the age
    '... or thirty-five.  Well I won't keep you any longer.  But
    if you need me you know where to find me.  I'm Constable
    Benton Fraser and you are...?"  The kid seemed trapped by
    this simple question and again Fraser could see his mind was
    racing to come up with an answer. "Ah.. Morgan... ah Jeremy
    Morgan."  Fraser had excellent peripheral vision and had
    seen the truck that passed behind him turning the corner,
    while to anyone else seeing their interchange it would have
    seemed as if he had just been looking at the boy in front of
    him.  The truck had the name MORGAN MOVERS on the side, this
    lie was again confirming for Fraser that the kid was in
    trouble and needed his help.
    
    Fraser wasn't going to play this game any longer, he felt
    certain that his deduction was correct and 'Jeremy' was a
    Canadian run away.  "Jeremy, if that's your real name, why
    don't you tell me the real reason you're here.  Maybe I can
    help.  There's a diner around the corner.  I'll buy you
    dinner and we can talk.  Ok?"  He'd heard the kid's stomach
    growling a few times while they had been talking earlier.
    Fraser figured food might get the kid to stay with him for a
    little while at least and perhaps give him the needed time
    and trust for 'Jeremy' to open up to him.  He could see in
    the boy's innocent blue eyes a battle going on inside him
    whether or not to take him up on his offer.  The boy
    responded with a half-hearted.  "I told you why I was here.
    And I'm not hungry at all.  I had a large breakfast and
    lunch with my family already today."  But the battle ended
    when Jeremy's stomach protested and rumbled loud enough for
    them both to hear it.   Despite Jeremy's words to the
    contrary, Fraser wondered how long it actually had been
    since this kid had eaten anything.  He grew more concerned
    for him and when Jeremy's own body betrayed him with his
    reaction to the offer of food, he knew he couldn't let this
    boy leave him.
    
    Fraser feared for this run away out on his own with no one
    to care for him, especially because Ben himself knew how
    cruel this city could be to innocents like Jeremy.  He'd
    seen too many of them out on the streets, aged beyond their
    actual years, their young lives wasted and taken advantage
    of by the pimps and drug dealers.  Looking at this handsome
    young boy he was afraid to see that happen to him, and he
    knew it would if he let him out of his sight.  There was
    also something else about him that was bugging and endearing
    him to Fraser, which he couldn't put his finger on right
    now, but it would come to him later he subconsciously
    thought.  This strange feeling only compelled him to keep
    battering at Jeremy's self-defense mechanisms that were
    actually getting in the way of making sure he stayed healthy
    and alive long enough to reach adulthood.  When Jeremy's
    stomach had growled Fraser gave him an understanding yet
    teasing smile.  "Well if you're sure...?"  He could see in
    those beautiful eyes that he was close to earning a level of
    trust and was relieved when Jeremy finally relented.  "Yeah,
    well, I suppose I could choke down a burger or something."
    Fraser smiled at this small victory and guided his newly
    acquired stray to the aforementioned diner.
    
    At the door before they entered the diner Jeremy playfully
    teased Fraser by pointing to his uniform.  "You might want
    to fix that lanyard of your's."  Jeremy/Paddy smiled and
    enjoyed the reaction he'd gotten to this.  Fraser had
    uttered an 'Oh dear' and 'Thank you kindly', as a look like
    this was the worst thing imaginable to occur, and in public
    no less, crossed his face.  Jeremy was smiling outside but
    laughing inside. *Works every time.* he said to himself.
    Grandpa Buck still fell for it to this day and Jeremy
    wondered if it was just their way of playing a game with
    each other or if he really believed him when he'd said it
    for the millionth time.
    
    Thinking about grandpa Buck brought a pang of guilt and
    sadness.  He admired and respected his grandfather very
    much, and realized now that he'd probably be the only one
    who was hurt or worried about his disappearance.  He knew
    he'd find out he was gone soon, despite the fact that his
    father and grandpa Buck didn't care for each other.  Grandpa
    Buck hadn't been doing well the last time he'd seen him.
    But Jeremy also knew that at one time his grandfather had
    been considered one of the best trackers in the Northwest
    Territories, probably in all of Canada.  These thoughts
    worried him, because he was afraid for his grandfather's
    health should he try to come looking for him.  The last time
    he'd seen his grandfather he seemed to have aged so much
    more since his Jeremy/Paddy's mother's death.  He realized
    his mother's death in a car accident about 2 months ago had
    not only been devastating to him, but to grandpa Buck as
    well, who's daughter she'd been and who he'd doted on.  He
    was interrupted from his thoughts by the man who had yet to
    realize that the boy he thought was a run away was that but
    so much more... he'd run from one father to another - the
    one who didn't know this important piece of information was
    sitting in the booth with him now asking him yet another
    question that was interrupted by their waitress.
    
    Their waitress smiled happily when she saw her favorite
    handsome repeat customer at her table.  "Hi Constable
    Fraser.  Who's your friend?  A relative or somethin'?"
    Fraser was taken aback by her remark.  "Good afternoon
    Marie.  Oh no, he's just a friend from back home.  This is
    Jeremy Morgan."  Marie and Jeremy/Paddy said their helloes
    to each other when Fraser introduced them.  "So what can I
    get for you gentleman today?"  She took their orders and
    headed back to the kitchen where she ran into her young
    friend and coworker Alice.  She teased.  "Alice that cute
    mountie's here again and he brought along a friend for you.
    I think I need to work in the Northwest Territories.  They
    sure grow some really nice looking men up there."
    
    Meanwhile Fraser tried to draw out some more information on
    his new found young friend.  "So Jeremy do you play hockey?"
    The kid's face lit up.  "That's like asking the Pope if he
    goes to Sunday mass.  Of course I play.  Doesn't everyone?"
    he laughed.  They got into the details of discussing the
    sport they both loved.  "Perhaps we can play some time?  How
    long and where are you staying?"  Jeremy/Paddy was getting
    uncomfortable again, realizing that Fraser was feeling him
    out again with these sneaky questions of his.  He had to
    hand it to the mountie, he was pretty good at distracting
    him, getting him to talk and then throwing these zingers by
    him, making Jeremy/Paddy work hard to come up with answers.
    "Well I won't be here long.  Maybe just until tomorrow or
    the next day.  Depends on my dad."  Fraser tried another
    question.  "Oh, what about your mother?  Is she here with
    you too?"  Fraser noticed the question must have hit a
    sensitive nerve, because the kid reacted strongly and sadly
    to this one.  He snapped out.  "My mum's dead."
    Compassionately Fraser responded.  "I'm sorry.  I know how
    you feel."  The kid looked annoyed.  "Yeah right."  "I do.
    My mother died in a freak accident protecting me, when I was
    around six.  I was quite young, but I still remember her
    fondly and miss her to this day."  Paddy looked
    empathetically over at his father.  "I'm sorry.  Guess you
    must have felt guilty too?"  Ben was startled at how
    perceptive the kid was.  That was exactly how he'd felt for
    a long time afterwards, there was still an echo of that
    guilt within him even today.
    
    He'd blamed himself for her death, because he'd run off
    after his pet otter who'd escaped, even when his mother told
    him not to.  He hadn't listened to her and soon found
    himself confronted by an angry wild bear out in the
    wilderness by their home.  She'd come after him and threw
    herself over him just as he was about to be attacked.  He
    shivered at the remembrance of how she felt on top of him,
    her muffled cries and how terrified he was as she took the
    brunt of the attack.  If it hadn't been for his father
    coming then with his shotgun, Ben probably wouldn't have
    survived.  He'd been the lucky one and only had relatively
    minor marks on him, that soon healed.  But the psychological
    marks didn't for a long time.
    
    He knew how much his father loved his mother and always felt
    a part of his father's temporary insanity, his leaving him
    with his grandmother and later the coldness and awkwardness
    towards his son stemmed from his blaming Ben for his
    mother's death, although he'd never say it.  What Ben didn't
    realize was that his father had actually blamed himself for
    not getting there sooner to prevent the attack in the first
    place.  At first he'd disregarded his wife's request for
    help to track down their headstrong son, thinking that the
    kid wasn't too far away.  Bob Fraser knew his wife and son
    knew the area around the house pretty well that they
    wouldn't get lost.  He changed his tune minutes after she'd
    already left, when he recalled a warning posted about some
    nasty bears in the area.  Coming upon his wife's mauled body
    and then realizing his son was with her had chilled him to
    the core and remained to haunt him for the rest of his days.
    He felt as if he'd failed as their protector and wasn't a
    worthy father to look after his son after that, especially
    when he'd gone into a deep depression and had neglected to
    care for his young son for almost four days.
    
    "Hey.  Earth to Fraser.  You still with me?"  Fraser shook
    himself from the horrific memories and concentrated on the
    kid in front of him again.  He gave the boy a half-smile.
    "Sorry about that.  There's an Inuit story my friend Eric
    told me once about a mother wolf and her cub and the Raven.
    One day..."  He was interrupted by the kid before he could
    even really get started.  The boy was laughing.  "Yeah I
    know that one.  But I still don't get how the Raven knew
    they were in that cave..."  Fraser smiled at the kid, other
    than the Inuit people themselves, no one had ever known one
    of the stories he'd relayed before.  They discussed the
    story and the Inuit people in general and he found the boy
    was quite knowledgeable in that area.  
    
    After eating their meal, the kid had a pretty healthy
    appetite, he noticed Jeremy/Paddy looked even more tired
    than when he'd first met him.  Much of the kid's
    conversation with him now was punctuated with yawns.  "Sorry
    Constable.  Its not you, I'm just tired."  Fraser smiled
    knowingly as he thought to himself.  *I'll just bet you are.
    Running can be exhausting.*  "Jeremy I promise to help you.
    You're welcome to stay with me.  At least stay tonight."
    Jeremy/Paddy finally relented, Fraser was pleased that
    another victory had been won.  They walked back to the
    consulate, where Fraser reported that he was leaving early
    to Jasmine and quickly left with not much more of an
    explanation than that, for fear the kid waiting for him
    downstairs would bolt.  He'd barely got the boy to stand
    inside the door of the consulate.  He was relieved to see
    Jeremy/Paddy had kept his promise and was there waiting for
    him at the door.  They got into Jeremy/Paddy's truck and
    Fraser was surprised to note that the kid seemed to know
    where to drive to without really getting many directions
    from Fraser.  Leading him to conclude that his earlier
    deduction that the kid may have been singling him out
    specifically was correct.
    
    ********************************
    
    It was about 5:00 PM when Ray knocked at his lover's
    apartment door, not waiting for the door to be opened he
    knew it was unlocked and started to let himself in.  At the
    same time he pushed it open, he felt it being pulled from
    his hand.  Fraser was there letting him in.  "Hi Benny." He
    must have said this too loud, because the next thing he knew
    Ben's finger rested gently on Ray's lips and he whispered a
    "Hello Ray.  Shhh" over to him.  Ray lightly kissed the
    finger at his mouth and did as his lover wished, whispering
    to him as he removed his coat and entered the apartment
    further.  "Why am I whispering Benny?  Are you practicing
    listening to the wind again?  Or just eavesdropping on your
    neighbors?"
    
    Ben had his hand on Ray's arm leading him deeper into the
    apartment but away from the bedroom.  Ray looked concerned
    as he quietly said.  "I went by the consulate.  They told me
    you'd skipped out early.  You sick or somethin'?  You're ok
    aren't you?"  He reached up to feel his lover's forehead,
    which felt nice but not hot with a fever.  He breathed a
    sigh of relief at this and especially when Fraser responded.
    "No need to worry Ray.  I don't get sick.  I feel just fine.
    I have a guest in the other room.  He's sleeping now and I
    don't want to wake him.  Poor kid is exhausted."
    
    Ray peered around the corner of the door jamb to look into
    the somewhat lit bedroom at Fraser's guest.  All he could
    see of the sleeping teenaged boy was a bit of dark blond
    hair peeking out from under Fraser's blankets.  "You're
    picking up strays again aren't you Benny?  What've I told
    you about this?  Ya can't adopt them all Benny.  Ya know the
    worst part?  You're gonna rope me in too, aren't ya?"
    Fraser's face changed to that of a seducer smiling over at
    his chosen manipulatee, who had guessed right in that
    regard.  Moving teasingly close he whispered over to him,
    turning up the body language in order to snare his lover
    deeper under his spell.  "Please Ray.  He's a run away from
    the Territories.  He looked so troubled and lost, I had to
    help him.  Thatcher is still angry with me for the last time
    I got involved with a 'non-assigned venture', relegating me
    to sentry duty for 3 months.  She wouldn't understand.  I
    need help tracking down a license plate from the
    Territories, and finding out who this boy is.  Will you
    please help us?" Ray gave him a smug I-knew-it look and
    responded quietly over to him.  "I'll do it on one
    condition."  Fraser breathed out seductively.  "Anything
    Ray."  Ray smiled and thrilled to how his lover responded to
    him.  "Kiss me already."
    
    Fraser placed his arms around Ray, who embraced him in
    return.  Then Ben was purposely guiding them away from the
    bedroom door again and deeper into the apartment, so as not
    to be seen accidentally by his young houseguest.  His lips
    pressed teasingly brief kisses on Ray's neck near his ear,
    working his way to his chin, then on to his face, all the
    while evoking pleasurable soft sighs from Ray, until he
    finally made full contact with his lover's enthusiastic lips
    pulling at his own.  The way Ray kissed him was always
    exhilarating, sensual, inviting him to keep taking more, so
    that now Ben's tongue pushed its way into a more than
    willing mouth, and he lost himself in the sensational feel
    and taste of him; and with this merging perfect fit he was
    reminded yet again, of how all he wanted in this world was
    in his arms and miraculously fully his.  He could 'feel'
    that Ray was enjoying this as much as he was, but both knew
    that with the kid in the room nearby, their passionate kiss
    was as far as they could go... for now.
    
    In mid-kiss Ray could feel a piece of paper being stuffed
    into his hand.  His puzzled eyes caught those of his partner
    as he pulled out of the kiss to look at what his lover had
    passed him.  Recovering his breath slightly he teased his
    lover.  "You're a sneaky one Benny.  Sometimes I think ya
    just love me for my job."  Ben looked worried and hoped he
    hadn't pushed his will on his lover too hard.  "No.  That's
    not true Ray.  I love you for everything you are."  Ray
    smiled reassuringly to let him know he understood.  "I know.
    What's this?  A picture of the kid?  Hmmm, looks real
    familiar, but I can't place him.  Maybe somethin' passed
    through on him?  Ya know this is real good.  You could take
    up art on the side.  Earn some extra money to keep me in the
    lifestyle I've grown accustomed to."  Fraser laughed
    quietly. "Oh and what lifestyle is that Ray?"  Ray smiled
    back. "Why this glamorous life I lead of hobnobbing with all
    the best kinds of people: dealers, pimps, thieves and
    homicidal maniacs.  Who all seem to live in your
    neighborhood I might add.  I'll see what I can dig up on the
    kid, maybe get Elaine's help.  She's doin' a late shift
    tonight."
    
    Ben's face and eyes reflected his thanks, but he verbalized
    it as well. "Thank-you Ray.  I really appreciate this.  He
    hasn't told me much directly about himself, other than his
    name is Jeremy Morgan, which I believe to be an alias.  The
    plates of his pick-up truck were from the Territories.  The
    license number is on the back of the picture I just gave
    you.  When I took him to dinner earlier, he made mention
    that his mother was dead, and had made reference to a father
    who it seems is still living.  His cover story was he's here
    with his father, he's visiting family, but its got more
    holes than swiss cheese... to be fair the way he said it
    there did seem to be some truth underlying it... I can't
    make out what that is though."
    
    Ray knew his lover well and could tell that Fraser was going
    to get himself in deep trying to help this kid.  He prayed
    the kid was worth the trouble, because he hated the thought
    of seeing Ben used and hurt.  Ray suspected this kid could
    easily do it to him too, so he was going to have to be on
    extra guard, to ensure the run away didn't take advantage of
    someone a protective and loyal Ray loved very much.
    
    Walking towards the apartment door, Ray responded to the
    briefing he'd just been given with good-natured sarcasm.
    "Looks like you've got all the overnight company you can
    handle right now.  So I suppose you want me to get started
    on this right away?  I was startin' to miss my desk anyway.
    I'll swing by again later tonight with what I come up with;
    but mostly so you can tell me how much you love and
    appreciate me.  Ok?"  Fraser stopped him at the door with a
    hand on his arm to turn him to face him.  "Ray?"  "Yeah
    Benny?"  "I really do love and appreciate you." he followed
    those words with a heartfelt good-bye kiss.  Afterwards he
    stood holding the door open for a little while, admiring the
    view from behind, as Ray walked down the hallway.  But all
    too soon the view was covered up by Ray's having put his
    coat back on as he stepped into the elevator.  As Fraser
    moved to shut the door he had the feeling that someone was
    watching him.  But when he looked behind him and into the
    bedroom, his guest still looked to be fast asleep.  Shaking
    his head he thought to himself.  *Naw.  He didn't see
    anything.  It was probably Diefenbaker.* when he noticed the
    wolf staring intently over at him.
    
    Fraser was wrong, his young guest had been the one watching
    him.  Jeremy/Paddy had woken up at the sound of muffled
    voices talking by the door just a few minutes ago.  When
    he'd opened his eyes to see who was there, he could just
    barely make out the man who had driven Fraser home the other
    day whispering over to the mountie, then the mountie placing
    a hand on the visitor turning him to kiss him.  Jeremy's jaw
    dropped in shock when he saw that, realizing that this man
    must be Fraser's boyfriend.  The thought of his real father
    being a gay mountie never would have crossed his mind if he
    hadn't seen it with his own eyes; first in the car yesterday
    he thought he'd imagined it and now there at the door it was
    obviously so.  He figured Fraser must have sent his visiting
    lover home because Jeremy was there.  Jeremy was even more
    confused now about how he should feel towards this man who
    was his father.
    
    Jeremy/Paddy wasn't one to be judgmental of others, but
    this new information about Fraser certainly put a different
    spin on their relationship.  Although he felt awkward with
    the knowledge he now possessed, he didn't feel right about
    judging Fraser's choice of lifestyle, especially since the
    man had shown Jeremy/Paddy nothing but compassion,
    understanding and kindness since this afternoon.  He was
    beginning to think he understood why his *real* father
    wasn't in his life now and was stationed in Chicago, far
    from his native Canada.  He also imagined that his mother
    must have found out about Fraser being gay and it would be
    too scandalous and awkward for her to have married a
    bisexual mountie, even if the man was the father of her
    child.  Jeremy/Paddy felt like he was part of a really bad
    soap opera as he lay there trying to pretend to be asleep,
    so as not to let on that he had seen anything.  
    
    As he tried to think out what the next part of his plans
    should be, his exhaustion of the past few days caught up
    with him and he was soon asleep again.  But not before he
    could hear Fraser preparing for bed, laying down his bedroll
    on the floor near the window and close to his wolf.  There
    was faint light coming from a low lit lantern next to him
    and Jeremy was lulled by every now and again the whisper of
    pages being turned.  Despite all the disturbing things that
    he'd heard, done and seen this last week, he was amazed at
    how peaceful, calm and with every minute that passed
    comfortable he was in Fraser's presence and home, despite
    his shock at Fraser's being gay.  However the peace was to
    be disrupted later by a vivid dream.  He had dreaded sleep
    ever since his mother died in the car accident a little over
    two months ago...
    
    There he was with his mother again at grandpa Buck's
    isolated cabin, which was two hours drive from where they
    lived.  They hadn't seen him in about a month and his mother
    insisted on visiting with him.  He knew she was always
    worried he'd run off again after trouble and was concerned
    for him, because although he pretended he was still as
    physically sharp and young as he used to be, she knew his
    age was starting to creep up on him.  She was smiling
    teasingly at her father.  "Dad something's been bothering me
    for a while now."  His grandfather looked concerned about
    that.  Paddy knew Buck adored his mother and was loathe to
    have her worried or upset about anything.  "Oh?  What's that
    my sweet jewel?" he answered teasingly back.  "Why do you
    carry around cousin Betty's communion picture and not a
    picture of me or Paddy?  I'm really hurt."
    
    His grandfather looked startled and surprised.  "You mean
    that's not you?"  She was laughing that soft tinkling laugh
    of her's, at the answer and reaction she'd gotten.  Looking
    smug she responded.  "I thought so.  Dad you stubborn old
    mule.  How many times have I told you to wear those glasses
    of your's?"  Buck looked affronted.  "My eyesight has never
    been sharper.  I just thought she was a cute kid and wanted
    to show her picture to a friend.  Just forgot to take it out
    of my pack is all."  She was still laughing lightly at the
    obvious lie, as she teased her father.  "Well I guess I'll
    just have to keep this....", she had a picture she pulled
    from her purse in her hand now, "... your bag's too full for
    it."
    
    Buck knew she was teasing and played their game some more.
    "Oh, I could probably find room for it, especially if its a
    picture of your cousin Cindy."   Paddy couldn't help but
    smile at the interchange that was going on between these two
    people who meant the world to him.  "I'll give it to you on
    one condition.  You wear those glasses of your's more often.
    I know you have them.  Wear them!  I don't want someone from
    the RCMP bothering me in the wee hours of the night telling
    me you fell over a cliff, you didn't see, while looking for
    the outhouse.  Not a dignified way to go dad."  His
    grandfather and Paddy were laughing at the poignant image
    she evoked.
    
    His grandfather relented and pulled out his glasses and put
    them on as she handed him the picture.  Paddy knew which one
    it was without having to look at it himself.  It was a
    somewhat recent one with himself and his mother, which a
    fellow tourist had taken, while they had gone on vacation
    this past summer via train through the Canadian Rockies.
    His mother gave her father a peck on the cheek.  "Much
    better."  He could tell that his grandfather liked the
    picture even though he continued to tease.  "So who are
    these two?  Look sort of suspicious to me.  Must have seen
    them on a WANTED poster or something."  With this last
    remark he winked over at Paddy, as he laughed at his
    daughter, who was punching him in mock anger on the arm.
    "Daaadddd..."  Then he grew serious as he smiled
    affectionately at them both.  "Thank-you Julie.  I'll keep
    it with me always."
    
    The dream shifted and now Paddy was in the car driving
    himself and his mother home from grandpa Buck's cabin that
    same night.  They lived in a college town in what passed for
    a city in those parts, although to most people from Toronto
    or Vancouver it was just a more populated town than the
    other towns in the area.  They were talking, joking around
    and singing along with the radio.  They had loved singing
    with each other.  People who heard them always complimented
    them on how well each of them sang, especially when they
    harmonized together each year at midnight mass on Christmas
    Eve.  It was night time and the roads were getting a little
    more slick and icy.  Paddy had his driver's license for
    about a year then, he'd been allowed to get his license at
    age 15, a few months shy of his 16th birthday.  She was
    laughing as she started a Christmas carol, teasing him to
    join in.  "Mum its not even close to December yet and you're
    already singing carols?"  She smiled lovingly at him and
    spoke in her soft sweet voice. "Oh Paddy you know I love
    Christmas.  I think I could sing carols all year round..."
    He grinned back at her, amused by her sense of fun.  "Yeah I
    know.  I caught you singing RUDOLF THE RED NOSED REINDEER
    last July."  They laughed together at that.  He adored his
    mother, she was not only beautiful and intelligent, but she
    was so vibrant, so... alive.  Paddy's mother again started
    teasing him by singing WHAT CHILD IS THIS? and he couldn't
    resist her charm and joined her on the chorus.  As she
    started to reach for a high note, her voice turned into a
    scream of "PADDY!" instead, as he lost control of the car on
    the slick pavement while coming around a corner trying to
    avoid a fallen tree in the road.
    
    He remembered feeling his mother's hand on him as she
    instinctively reached out to protect him any way she could,
    as the car flew off the embankment and into a tree, crushing
    the passenger side.  Now in his dream all he could hear was
    her scream; all he could sense was her fear... all he could
    see was her beautiful face covered with blood from a head
    wound... "MUM!!!" he shouted both in his dream and out loud
    in his sleep, sitting bolt upright in the bed, trembling and
    breathing hard in terror.
    
    Fraser in a half-sleep had noticed that Jeremy/Paddy had
    been shifting restlessly in his sleep for a while,
    periodically muttering unintelligible words, which was the
    reason Ben was almost awake in the first place.  When he
    screamed out for his mother Fraser was fully awake instantly
    and at the terrified boy's side in seconds.
    
    Jeremy/Paddy was disoriented and scared.  His mind was
    racing with thoughts of, *Where was he?* and *Where was his
    mother?  She was always there to soothe him when he had a
    nightmare.*  He felt the bed shift and an arm go around his
    shoulders trying to comfort him, but he realized it wasn't
    who he desperately wanted it to be.  In 'her' rightful place
    at his side there was a stranger instead trying to calm him.
    A stranger who happened to be his father. "Shhh.  Its ok.
    You're safe.  Just a bad dream."  The tears he had on his
    face from his nightmare hadn't stopped when he woke up.  He
    turned into the arm of the man seated next to him and placed
    his arms around him, sobbing on his shoulder.  Jeremy/Paddy
    felt the embrace returned and hands rubbing his back, while
    a soft kind voice consoled him, asking after the sobs had
    slowed.  "Do you want to talk about it?"
    
    Jeremy/Paddy, still with his head on his father's shoulder,
    was miserable as he forced the anguished words out. "I... I
    killed her."  Fraser was stunned at this and fearful to hear
    the rest, thinking *this boy couldn't be a murderer... could
    he?*  But he admonished himself for jumping to conclusions,
    and tried to draw the facts of the story out.  "I know its
    hard, but please tell me about it.  I want to help you."  It
    was difficult for him to talk about the horrific night, the
    torturous pain and the unrelenting guilt he was overwhelmed
    by, but something about the voice and the man himself, made
    him feel compelled to trust more of himself to this
    stranger, yet somehow instinctively not a stranger father.
    
    Fraser had given him his undivided attention, just listening
    until the story ran its course.  With each emotionally
    charged word his heart went out more and more to this young
    man, who by the end of the tragic story was sobbing in his
    arms again.  "Listen to me.  Listen.  You didn't kill her.
    I know she loved you and wouldn't blame you.  It was an
    accident.  I think you know that too."  Teenaged sad blue
    eyes looked into their adult compassionate mirror.  "I miss
    her so much.  She was everything to me; not just my mother,
    but my best friend.  Now I have nobody.  I'm alone."
    Fraser, who knew what it was like to feel that alone but
    fortunately wasn't any more now that he had Ray, shook his
    head.  "No, that's not true.  You're not alone.  You have a
    new friend now.  You have me."  He was surprised at the
    magical transformation the boy went through with those
    words.  Fraser was rewarded with the most beautiful smile
    and the sudden enthusiastic warm embrace he'd gotten in
    return clinched it - he adored this boy now and would do
    anything in his power to ensure he was healthy, happy and
    protected from whatever troubles were following him.  He
    laughed to himself recalling Ray's words to him earlier.
    Speaking in his mind as if his lover could hear him.  *You
    were right Ray.  I've definitely acquired a stray.  And
    you're going to adore him too despite yourself."
    
    Jeremy/Paddy had gone back to sleep after a little while and
    Fraser kept a vigil on him, and saw that this time he was
    sleeping much more peacefully than before.  He was reading
    again when he heard a very light tap at his door around
    midnight, and Ray entered.  Ben got up with the speed and
    quiet grace of a jungle cat as he intercepted his lover at
    the door.  Ray looked tired and Fraser felt badly that he
    was the cause of those dark circles around his eyes.  Ray
    whispered over at him. "Ok this is the part where you tell
    me you love and appreciate me again, so when I leave you
    I'll have pleasant dreams."  Fraser was more than willing to
    concede to this wish of Ray's. "I love you more than life
    itself Ray, and I promise to show you my appreciation when
    we have our privacy again."  He gave him a brief kiss after
    he'd said this.  
    
    Despite what others may think, Fraser knew that Ray was a
    soft touch and easy to please with the right words and
    simple gestures of kindness.  Behind all that armor of
    sarcasm and cynicism was someone who loved being needed and
    appreciated.  He was good at interpreting Ray's face and
    could see he was getting into a serious mood.  He knew this
    meant Ray had something to tell him he was afraid Ben
    wouldn't like and didn't want to hurt him.  "Benny I've been
    calling all 'round gettin' what I can on your stray.  Elaine
    and I were on the computer digging through files all night.
    Sorry Benny, but your run away has a reason for runnin'.
    That truck he's drivin' 'round in was used in an armed
    robbery up North, some town called Moosepaw..."  Fraser
    couldn't stop himself from correcting him.  "Moosejaw Ray."
    Ray continued.  "Yeah whatever.  Well it gets worse Benny.
    One of the clerks was shot and killed during the robbery.
    There were 2 robbers involved, their faces were covered with
    ski masks.  The only description they had on these guys...
    well one could match up to the kid.  Right size and build
    from what I could tell peeking in at him earlier. Please
    tell me he doesn't have blue eyes and I'll feel a hell of
    alot better."  Fraser's own blue eyes briefly closed sadly
    when he heard this.  Ray took that reaction as an admission
    of the fact neither wanted to hear and uttered a vehement
    expletive under his breath.
    
    Still believing in the boy's goodness, Fraser was afraid of
    what Ray was going to say next, he knew what was coming.
    Ray looked sincerely apologetic. "Benny ya know I'm gonna
    have to bring him in for questioning and detention until
    someone from the Canadian side can take over.  I'm gonna
    have to wake him up.  This one got ya good didn't he?"
    Fraser spoke pleading with his eyes and tone of voice. "Can
    you wait until the morning?  He's had a pretty rough night
    already."  Ray tried to avoid those eyes which could melt
    his resolve, and spoke with conviction in order to do his
    job and not let them both get suckered in by this kid.
    "Benny, its gotta be this way.  Welsh knows about him.  He
    stopped in briefly on his way to a musical with Esther and
    snuck up on Elaine and me talking about it at the computer.
    He put a call in to his counterparts in Canada and they're
    sending someone over to the precinct right away."
    
    Ray made a move towards the bedroom and Fraser reached out
    lightly to stop him.  "Let me wake him.  Talk to him first.
    He's starting to trust me.  Then we'll come with you."  Ray
    conceded sighing, "Sure Benny." and let Fraser precede him
    into the bedroom with the very low light on from Fraser's
    lantern.  Fraser approached the bed and noticed it was empty
    with the covers hastily cast aside.  He heard Ray swear
    again as Ray's eyes followed Fraser's to the escape route
    the kid had taken... the window.  "He must have heard us and
    went down the fire escape."  Fraser was immediately out the
    window in a heartbeat after that, Ray following right
    behind.
    
    By the time they made it to the ground in the alley Fraser
    was looking both ways and then standing stock still as he
    listened intently.  He kept peeling away the sounds of the
    city at night, until he heard those noises which sounded
    probable, like the sound of running feet or of a car
    stopping suddenly as if avoiding a running boy.  Fraser
    headed in the direction he thought that last one had come
    from.  But minutes later he was muttering under his breath
    when Ray caught up to him, breathlessly shooting out one
    question after another.  "Did ya see him?  What's wrong?
    Why're we stoppin'?"  Fraser looked annoyed with himself.
    "I should get my hearing checked, perhaps the constant noise
    from the city is starting to effect me.  I failed to take in
    account the echo I heard, which from the sound of it should
    have indicated that I go in the other direction from the
    alley.  That was so basic; so simple.  A first year cadet
    could have heard and figured that out right away."  Somehow
    Ray doubted that.  What his friend did sometimes with his
    sharp mind and keen sense of sight, smell, hearing, touch
    and taste often astounded him - and that last often
    disgusted him as well; especially that one time he'd briefly
    forgotten and accidentally kissed Ben after he'd tasted
    something from a garbage dump they'd been rummaging through.
    *Blech!*, he said to himself and then, *Fraser always takes
    me on the best dates.* he laughed inwardly, as he remembered
    one of their first attempts at a real date.  This one
    started with dinner, but ended up with them investigating
    the restaurant owner for health violations and locating that
    secret dump site, which led to environmental violations as
    well.
    
    After almost an hour of searching the alleyways near
    Fraser's place in the wee hours of the night; then talking
    with Welsh and the authorities from Canada in Welsh's
    office; when they'd been dismissed, Ray convinced Ben to
    call it a night at about 6 AM in the morning.  Ray could see
    the toll this was taking on his friend and lover and he
    cursed the kid for doing what he feared would happen since
    the beginning... he was hurting Ben.  When they returned to
    Ben's apartment Ray was so tired he crashed there, just
    laying there with Ben, holding his lover in his arms to
    comfort him; knowing Ben was filled with worry about some
    boy who reminded him of... it hit Ray like a ton of bricks
    when he'd gotten up from the bed to use the bathroom, and
    peeked back at his lover asleep tucked under the covers with
    just his dark mane of hair to be seen.  He spoke to his
    lover in his mind.  *He reminds you of you doesn't he?  Too
    much hit close to home didn't it?  The death of his mother.
    Awkward relationship with his father.  Growing up in the
    isolated towns of the perpetually cold Territories.  You
    even understood his feeling of being alone didn't you?*  Ray
    looked compassionately over at Ben, his own stray he'd
    acquired almost three years ago.  Moving back to sit beside
    his sleeping lover on the bed, he let the back of his hand
    trace feather light down the side of Ben's face which was
    turned towards him; in his mind seeing again the picture
    that Ben had drawn and given him earlier. *God he even looks
    a little like you must've as a boy.  Oh man this one's gonna
    really hurt isn't it?*
    
    *************************
    
    There was a knock at Fraser's door late one afternoon, about
    a week later, and Ben was happily surprised to see his
    father's and his old mountie friend Sergeant Duncan 'Buck'
    Frobisher on the other side.  Buck had always been someone
    Ben had admired, respected and admitted to himself hero-
    worshipped since childhood.  In many ways Buck was like a
    surrogate father to him, especially since his own father had
    died almost three years earlier.  Ben smiled at the welcome
    visitor, but his face turned into one of concern when seeing
    the sad eyes and how old Buck had become since the last time
    he saw him just 6 months ago.  Back then an adventurous and
    amusing Buck had helped him rescue a trainload of terrorist
    held RCMP Musical Ride mounties and stop the bomb on the
    train from taking out a sizable chunk of Chicago.
    
    The Buck standing in front of him now looked worn out and
    ready to give up on life.  "Hello Buck?  Its a pleasure to
    see you again.  I'm beginning to think you live in Chicago
    too?"  As Ben ushered Buck further into the apartment he led
    him to a chair at the kitchen table.  "Hello Ben.  No, you
    can keep this 'Windy City' you've adopted, I still prefer
    the white beauty of the Territories.  I'm here on family
    business."  Ben's eyes and voice reflected the concern he
    felt as he seated himself in the chair nearest Buck.  "Oh?
    Are Julie and Paddy alright?"  Buck's eyes briefly shut and
    he let out a shaky breath to steel himself at the mention of
    the two people Fraser knew were the closest to him.
    
    Restraining the deep emotion he felt, Buck answered as
    matter of fact as he could, to get him through this part.
    "Julie's gone Ben.  She died in a car accident over two
    months ago."  Ben took in a sharp intake of air at the
    tragic news.  "Oh Buck, I'm so sorry.  I hadn't heard.  I'll
    always remember her.  She was such a good and beautiful
    woman."  Buck replied. "That she was and more.  She left me
    a terrific - but currently troublesome - grandson that I
    seem to have misplaced.  I tracked him down here to Chicago
    just today.  I was hoping maybe you could help me locate
    Paddy, seeing as you're familiar with the lay of the land
    here."  Fraser nodded and responded.  "Of course I'll assist
    you Buck.  I've been on a search for a run away myself.
    What makes you think your grandson is here in Chicago?  Its
    an awfully long distance from the Territories to run to..."
    Then Fraser saw a connection in what he just said at the
    same time as he saw the family snapshot Buck placed in front
    of him of a smiling Julie and Paddy.  He let out a gasp of
    recognition.  "Oh dear.  Buck I believe we're already
    working on the same case.  This is the boy I've been looking
    for since last Tuesday.  He was going by the name Jeremy
    Morgan when I met him."
    
    Buck seemed to perk up at that and pumped him for as much
    detail about the day Ben met and lost Jeremy/Paddy and what
    he'd already gone through to locate him.  Buck filled Fraser
    in on the kid's home life with an estranged father, his
    guilt at feeling responsible for Julie's death and his
    confusion as to where he belonged.  Fraser asked.  "But why
    would he choose Chicago as his destination?   What's here in
    Chicago that would make him drive thousands of miles in the
    winter?  Why not somewhere else in Canada?  Somewhere more
    familiar?" Fraser could tell there was something Buck was
    holding back from him.  He could see it hovering behind
    those wise but tired eyes.  "He's here to find his father."
    
    Fraser gave Frobisher a puzzled look and was afraid the man
    was going senile, because Buck had told him earlier Paddy
    was running away from his father who lived in Runamuckluk.
    "Buck you aren't making any sense. How could Paddy be
    running away from his father in Runamuckluk and be running
    to him in Chicago at the same time?"  Buck sighed in
    resignation.  "Because Bruce isn't his biological father.
    For which I'm thankful.  Never liked the guy.  Still don't
    know what Julie saw in him.  Especially since she was in
    love with someone else."  Fraser responded starting to
    understand. "Ah.  I recall your telling me that once before,
    that time Geiger hunted you here a while back.  Did she ever
    tell the man she really loved about his son?  Obviously
    Jeremy, excuse me, Paddy knows who the man is.  If you tell
    me who he is we can look him up.  Maybe Paddy's with him
    now?  I certainly hope so." 
    
    Buck looked directly into Fraser's eyes as he revealed the
    identity of Paddy's father to him.  Before he said the name
    he repeated what he'd once tried to tell him, that one time
    when Ben had asked him if he knew who the man was that Julie
    loved.   He'd just hinted back then, but now he would fill
    in the man's name.  "He's a nice guy.  Kind of guy that
    would never let a friend down..."  Ben's eyes widened a bit
    at the remembrance of these words, then Buck continued.
    "His name is Benton Fraser.  And I have it on good authority
    that yes Paddy was with him.  But apparently not for long."
    Fraser went through a myriad of reactions in the course of a
    minute at this news; first shock at the astounding
    information; then puzzlement as he recalled his past history
    with Julie; followed by acceptance of his role in creating
    such a beautiful child; then joy at the thought of being a
    father; to end with fear and an ache in his heart and soul
    for his missing child.
    
    Fraser wasn't sure how to discuss this with Buck.  He had
    made love to Buck Frobisher's daughter and got her pregnant
    out of wedlock.  Well actually it was close to her being in
    wedlock as he recalled, not to him but Bruce.  Ben was
    amazed that Buck had known about his indiscretion with
    Julie, yet consistently treated him well all throughout his
    adult life and even now.  He felt he should say something to
    apologize for what he'd done.  "Buck I'm sorry.  I didn't
    realize.  I did care for your daughter and I meant her no
    disrespect.  Please believe me."  Buck gave him a knowing
    smile.  "I know.  When she told me she was divorcing Bruce
    she confessed to me the reason why.  She still loved you Ben
    and her husband knew that Paddy wasn't his child.  He had
    found out around then that he can't have children of his
    own.  I had always hoped to have you as a son-in-law Ben -
    you're like a son to me - but I'm happy to have Paddy in
    your place.  He really is a good boy, alot like you were at
    that age."
    
    ***********************************
    
    Ben hadn't stopped looking for the boy days after Paddy had
    run from him.  He had noticed right away that his watch,
    which was one of the few mementos of the dead Fraser Sr he
    owned, was missing.  The watch had been on the bedside table
    and he knew that Paddy had taken it in his escape from
    Fraser's apartment.  Ben's desire to have the watch back
    only lasted a few seconds, when he realized that if the
    money for it were to help shelter or feed the boy, even for
    just a brief time, then the loss was worth it and served its
    purpose.  It would also help serve as a way to track him, so
    he inquired over the next few days at several pawn shops in
    the city, but none had the watch or seen Paddy.
    
    Fraser knew that the boy was running not so much from him,
    but what he represented... the law.  From his conversations
    with the boy, he had gotten the impression the kid was very
    familiar with the traditions of the mounties and seemed to
    respect them highly.  He also got the sense that the kid
    disliked any involvement in crime and Ben knew the stolen
    truck and crossing illegally into the US must really have
    bothered the kid's conscience.  Paddy had overheard what Ray
    said about the stolen truck, the bank robbery, the murder
    and Paddy's being a suspect.  Fraser instinctively knew that
    the boy wasn't a killer, but Paddy thinking Fraser and
    other's believed it just made the teenager run even harder.
    Ray had had the truck impounded and the forensics team had
    discovered evidence linking the truck further to the crime
    up in Moosejaw.  Paddy's fingerprints and those of another
    were all over the vehicle incriminating him further.  There
    was also part of the stash of stolen money hidden inside the
    driver's seat of the truck.  It hadn't been touched until
    then and only the other fingerprints were on it.  Fraser
    knew that Paddy didn't know he'd been sitting on 25,000
    dollars Canadian that whole time he drove the vehicle.
    
    Every night after his shift at the consulate, Fraser was out
    wandering or driving around the city, with Ray in tow when
    Ray was of a mind to join him in the search.  During the day
    Fraser would call Ray's cellular phone several times, to
    check on whether any reports had come in on the boy.  He'd
    also been calling the hospitals and shelters daily, becoming
    a pest, as he kept inquiring whether they'd admitted a boy
    there matching Paddy's description.  After a week of this
    Ray decided to have a serious talk with Ben about his
    obsession with the run away.  Ray forced Ben to sit and then
    squatted down in front of him looking up at him
    sympathetically as he grabbed hold of one of his hands, the
    other hand touching his lover's face to catch his eyes.
    "Benny, he's gone.  The PDs looking for him too.  They'll
    find him.  And if he wants to be found he knows where you
    are.  I know you're worried about him, but you're overdoin'
    it.  You'll make yourself sick.  I'm worried about you."
    Fraser was touched by his lover's concern for his well
    being, but Ben's tired sad eyes told Ray that he was
    stubbornly going to keep looking.  Those eyes were also
    trying to tell him something else.  "Benny there's something
    you haven't told me about him yet isn't there?"  Ben was
    surprised all over again at how well his lover could read
    him and nodded.
    
    He had to tell him about Buck's visit earlier that day and
    that Buck would be returning shortly, after checking out of
    his hotel.  He was coming over with his gear to room with
    Fraser until they found Paddy.  "Ray you may want to sit
    down for this."  Ray did as he was told growing more worried
    by the second as he held on tightly to one of Ben's hands.
    "Talk to me Benny."  Fraser looked straight into his lover's
    eyes and with a smile forcing its way to his lips he shared
    his special knowledge. "That run away is my son Ray."
    
    The reaction he'd gotten was amusingly and beautifully
    priceless as Ray spluttered a few times trying to come up
    with something to say, but he was speechless.  " Whoa!
    Wha???... H???...???" Ray always had something to say about
    everything and he laughed at his lover's attempt to ask a
    million questions at once without fully voicing a single
    one.  Ben knew intuitively what Ray wanted to ask him and
    therefore shared his story about Julie and subsequently
    Paddy now...
    
    Ben had lived in the same town as Julie and her now ex-
    husband Bruce for a short time when they were all teenagers
    attending the same regional high school.  Ben had known
    Julie even longer than that since their father's had been
    close friends.  Not having alot of family, Ben had grown up
    thinking of Julie as if she were a sister or cousin.
    Whenever they saw each other, which didn't happen all that
    often during most of their childhood, they had enjoyed each
    other's company and found they had alot in common.  The
    thing they had most in common was a love for music.  They
    found they enjoyed singing together and harmonized quite
    beautifully according to those lucky enough to hear them.
    
    Fraser had moved around a few times in his young life and
    because of this, part of his last year of high school had
    been spent at the same school as Julie, much to his and her
    happiness.  They had both joined the school chorus and often
    discussed the musical selections and practiced the pieces
    after school.  As the school year progressed Ben started
    feeling things for Julie that he had a hard time
    reconciling, especially since he'd always thought of her as
    family.  He'd been a virgin back then and was increasingly
    made aware of that fact each time he was with Julie.  He was
    beginning to see her in a new light now - no longer just the
    girl he'd known since they were small, but a desirable
    woman; especially those times when she'd brush up against
    him leaning over to read a piece of sheet music he had or
    he'd watch her smiling sensual mouth as it released the most
    beautifully perfect sounds.  He could sense her attraction
    to him as well and often wondered if some of those
    accidental touches were deliberate or snatches of suspicious
    looks at him were really what he thought.  But each time
    he'd brush it off and pretend he didn't notice with a -
    *This is Julie...* he'd remind himself, *Buck's daughter...
    I can't think of her like this.*
    
    The school year had come to an end.  Ben had been named
    valedictorian of their graduating class and Julie had been
    salutatorian.  Graduation day was a happy occasion for them
    both and they had given their speeches and sung their
    absolute best together that day at the ceremony.  Both of
    their fathers had been present, amicably bickering and
    teasing each other about who's child had the better speech
    or who sang better, there was alot of pride in both children
    that day.  They had all gone out to have a celebratory
    dinner after the ceremony and had run into Bruce and his
    family at the restaurant.
    
    Julie had been dating Bruce O'Connor for three years then
    and had just broken up with him for the second time in their
    relationship a couple of days earlier.  Bruce had wanted her
    to marry him and raise a family right away.  Julie had other
    ambitions and hoped to go to college first, major in music,
    hoping to follow this love of her's into a profession of
    that type.  Bruce didn't understand her commitment to this
    wish and treated her dream too lightly causing her to turn
    him down and break off their relationship.  At the dinner
    the tension between the two of them, sitting across the room
    from each other, was like an electrical storm, but to
    everyone else she pretended and carried on as if nothing was
    wrong.
    
    After dinner they went over to the Frobisher's home so
    Fraser Sr and Buck, who hadn't seen each other in a long
    time, could 'catch up on crime in the Territories' some more
    they'd been told.  Ben and Julie had laughed at that knowing
    their fathers well, they knew this actually meant they were
    probably going to trade one fantastical story after another
    to keep topping each other.  The amusing thing about it was
    most of it was true or just slightly exaggerated to make it
    a better story.  Their fathers were always good naturedly
    competing with one another and loved to tease each other.
    
    Julie had excused herself at one point to go outside.  When
    she hadn't returned in a short time, Ben decided to follow
    her and make sure she was alright.  He found her crying in
    the barn and was instantly at her side wrapping his arms
    around her in an embrace to comfort her.  "What's wrong
    Julie?" he soothingly spoke into silky soft golden hair.
    She turned her tear filled eyes to him and before he
    realized what was happening he was returning the kiss she
    initiated.  The tear tinged kiss was exhilarating and the
    mouth which produced such beautiful sounds was amazingly in
    his.  Her tongue exploring and teasing him was matched with
    the same enthusiasm back.
    
    He felt hands at his shirt unbuttoning him and his desire,
    as her silken fingers pulled the soon forgotten shirt from
    his body followed quickly thereafter by his undershirt.  At
    first a part of his mind had berated him for not acting in a
    gentlemanly fashion towards her - felt he was taking
    advantage of her vulnerable state - but this voice in his
    head was quickly overruled by the ones of growing lust and
    desire, especially when he had removed her blouse and bra to
    caress her breasts - first with his hands, then with his
    mouth; hearing all the while dulcimer sighs and musical
    moans escape her.
    
    She had taken his hand at some point and pulled him towards
    a pile of hay, beckoning him with her movements, her eyes,
    her seductive voice to follow.  He was her's to command as
    she removed the last of her clothing, fully revealing
    herself to him now.  Laying down on the hay she reached out
    a hand to pull him to her.  Her other hand, soon joined by
    its mate, was undoing his pants, freeing his arousal for
    her.  His mouth was on her's and then he felt himself glide
    in between her legs.  She let out a melodious cry at his
    penetration and he was afraid at first that he'd hurt her.
    She read the worry that crossed his flushed face and smiled
    radiantly at him to reassure and show her pleasure.  They
    then began to move together in a rhythmic harmony unlike any
    other harmony they had achieved previously with their voices
    entwined; now they were physically entwined and the joy of
    it was beyond what he could have ever imagined...
    
    Ray was looking at him with an understanding that touched
    Ben and he was glad he told him about this.  He was the only
    one he'd ever told his indiscretion with Julie to.  Ray
    asked.  "Ya didn't finish the story Benny.  Why didn't you
    end up with her?  Did you love her?  What happened after the
    roll in the hay?  God that's so clich."  At the look Fraser
    gave him for his ending commentary, Ray behaved himself
    again... for the most part.  "Sorry Benny.  Don't mind me.
    I'm just jealous.  We haven't tried that yet.  Continue."
    Fraser shook his head and chuckled.  "Oh Ray you're
    incredible."  Ray smiled wickedly over at his lover and
    lifted his eyebrows suggestively. "Yeah, so you've told me
    before.  Stop tryin' to turn me on and out with rest of the
    story already.  God I never thought I'd hear myself say
    that.  Forget I said that.  Go back to the turning me on
    part." After a few minutes of playful teasing, Fraser told
    him the rest...
    
    He'd gone to Julie's house again the next afternoon and
    found that what had happened between them was not going to
    repeat itself.  When he entered the house he found Bruce was
    there.  He'd felt awkward; he'd thought that Bruce was out
    of Julie's life from their breaking up a few days earlier.
    When he saw the ring on her finger, he knew she was lost to
    him before he could even reconcile how he truly felt about
    her.  His stomach was in knots and he had an ache for her,
    which he wanted to deny.  He felt used, hurt and betrayed,
    but still found he cared for her.  In order to alleviate
    these feelings, which he didn't want to acknowledge, he
    relegated their lovemaking from the night before to a
    temporary 'inner ear imbalance'; and admonished himself for
    thinking that she could be anything more to him than just
    someone special, who was like family.
    
    She'd asked Bruce to be left alone with Ben for a few
    minutes.  She told him that she cared about him very much,
    he was still a dear friend to her, but that she had accepted
    Bruce's second marriage proposal.  They'd come to an
    understanding about her wish to continue with her education
    and her music.
    
    What she didn't tell Ben was she did love him, had always
    loved him, but was afraid to live the life of being a
    mountie's wife; after seeing what it had done to her
    parent's marriage, especially her mother, who had constantly
    worried for him every time her father left them to track
    down criminals or go out in the wilderness to rescue
    someone.  Julie couldn't bear the thought of being married
    to Fraser knowing that the life he led would put him in
    constant danger; that he could leave her side one day to go
    to work and never come back.  She thought the life Bruce was
    offering her would be more stable, not life threatening and
    he was also not one for wanderlust like her father, or
    Fraser Sr or Ben.  She'd married Bruce - to her father's
    disappointment - and went on to become a professor of music
    and the mother of Patrick Duncan O'Connor, whom she let her
    husband believe was his child, but all the while relished
    the fact that he was the son of her real love Ben.
    
    *****************************
    
    He was running scared; sixteen years old and still he
    thought he knew it all, but what he'd seen and heard tonight
    his young life still hadn't prepared him for.
    
    Paddy blindly burst out of the alley near Fraser's apartment
    complex and turned left, not even conscious of his having
    made the decision to run in this direction.  It didn't
    matter any direction would do so long as it was forward and
    putting the man he felt he didn't deserve as a father far
    behind him.  *What a disappointment I must be?  He knows I'm
    a run away, a liar, a thief, oh god... he thinks I'm a
    murderer." was the thought that kept running like a litany
    pounding through his mind in conjunction with the pounding
    of his heart and his feet.  He didn't see the car that he
    ran right in front of until he bounced off its hood and onto
    the pavement.  The driver, an attractive young man of Latino
    background about 19 years old, got out of the car and ran
    towards the unmoving boy on the ground. In a panic he cried
    out to the other person still calmly seated in the car.  "Oh
    god Joey, I think I killed him."  The man called Joey slowly
    got out of the car and walked over.  "I told ya to keep
    goin' Tony.  Now we gotta deal with him."  As the short
    stocky man, who was in his late thirties, got closer he
    liked what he saw of the handsome young teenager on the
    ground, despite the bruise that was forming at his temple
    and the scrapes there and on his hands and knee.  "Naw he
    ain't dead Tony.  Just stunned him.  Yo kid wake up."  He
    knelt and shook Paddy, who just groaned in response.  "Come
    on Tony, help me get him in the car."
    
    Paddy vaguely felt the hands that helped lift and support
    him from the road and into the car.  He just wanted to
    sleep, but they wouldn't leave him alone, saying he probably
    had a concussion and that he needed to stay awake.  Awake?
    Was he awake?  Wasn't this all just a bad dream he'd be
    waking from soon?  His head hurt and his thoughts were
    fuzzy, when they asked him his name.  What name should he
    give this time?  Not Paddy; no longer Jeremy; another alias
    came out of his mouth - "Stephen."  "Stephen What?" they'd
    asked him.  He giggled half out of it and responded. "No
    'What' isn't my last name.  Now that's just silly.  Its..."
    Hmm he ran through a list of possible names, discarding
    quickly the first two to come to mind: King and Wright.
    "Its Banks."  They'd had him talking with them and answering
    a couple of more 'simple' questions, some of which he
    answered truthfully others he made up lies to protect
    himself.
    
    They'd taken him to Tony's place, which was upstairs from a
    exotic nightclub in a sleazy part of Chicago.  Joey had left
    Tony to care for his new charge, wanting nothing more to do
    with the kid right now in the state he was in.  Joey left
    him with the commanding words.  "He's your responsibility
    Tony.  Make sure he's ok before you come see me again.  Got
    it?"  Tony nodded and responded.  "Sure Joey.  I understand.
    Thanks."  Tony had taken care of Stephen/Paddy that night,
    bandaging him up and giving him a pack of ice for the slight
    swelling, as well as entertaining the kid by playing cards
    with him.  He was amazed to find out the kid didn't know how
    to play poker, but then realized the kid must be a cardshark
    when he started winning the hands more and more as the game
    progressed.  All the while he snuck in questions about
    Stephen/Paddy's background.  Joey was right he realized when
    he'd gotten back some strange answers... the kid was a run
    away and really bad at lying.  Joey had known alot of runaways, 
    so that he got good at spotting them now.  Tony had
    been a run away once too, 5 years ago.  Orphaned and forced
    to live with an abusive alcoholic grandfather he'd run from
    him after a terrible beating; that's when Joey had found him
    and taken care of him.  He felt he owed Joey his loyalty
    ever since for providing him with medical attention, a place
    to stay, food to eat and a job to pay the bills.
    
    A few days had passed in which Tony and Stephen/Paddy had
    gotten along very well.  In this time Tony had learned what
    an obsessively neat and considerate person the kid was.
    When he'd gone to work the night after their initial
    meeting, he'd come back to find his apartment had been
    straightened up.  The next night he'd come back and the
    place was impeccably scrubbed and polished.  The third night
    he even found a note that told him dinner was in the oven.
    He'd gotten the dinner, because the kid knew he worked late
    hours and asked him when and what he ate.  Tony told him
    sometimes he missed meals or grabbed something from a
    convenience store nearby or leftovers from the nightclub's
    kitchen when his shift ended.  Tony was beginning to really
    like this kid and was giving careful thought to offering him
    up to Joey as he promised he would in a couple more days.
    Tony had talked to Joey a couple of times on the phone
    during the week and gave him progress reports on his new
    roommate.  He lied a little, after a while, to stall for
    time for the kid, making it sound like the boy wasn't fully
    recovered yet, when Tony knew he was.  But Joey would catch
    on to this soon if he kept it up for too long.  After a week
    and a half he admitted that Stephen/Paddy was doing really
    well and the bruising and scrapes had gone down to being
    barely even noticeable now.  
    
    The day came when Tony made the offhand suggestion, which
    was really a well thought out scheme, that Stephen/Paddy now
    that he was feeling better should try to get work with him
    in the club downstairs as a waiter.  It was his friend
    Joey's club and he'd pay him the going rate and whatever
    tips Stephen/Paddy earned.  The idea of working to pay his
    own way appealed to the naive boy and he trusted his new
    found friend so that he was willing to try it.  The next day
    they ended up in Joey's office at another club in a better
    part of town.  "So Tony you still have your little friend I
    see.  What's your name again kid?"  Stephen/Paddy replied.
    "Stephen Banks sir.  Tony told me that there might be a job
    opening in the club where he works for you.  I'm
    interested."  Joey pretended to look him over carefully.
    "Well you do realize its an exotic club, of both the female
    and male kind don't ya?  And there is alcohol served and you
    need to be twenty-one don't ya?  Ya don't have a drinkin' or
    substance abuse problem do ya?  Because if ya do you're no
    good to me. I don't want to have to worry about ya
    interfering with the running of my business."  Stephen/Paddy
    responded quickly.  "No sir.  Don't have to worry about me.
    I'm ok with this arrangement.  I need this job."
    
    Stephen/Paddy had been slightly surprised by the description
    of the club, but felt he could handle it, even if he wasn't
    the recommended age.  Besides Tony would be there working
    with him and he liked his friend, so it couldn't be all that
    bad.  Tony had also told him that there were two of them
    already under 21 working there now; Tony was one and another
    guy named Jimmy, who was 17.  He'd said to him the other
    day. "You're 18, 19 right Steve?  You could pass for a very
    young looking 21 maybe?" he'd laughed at that remark.
    
    Joey pretended to give in.  "Well ya look like a good kid.
    I'm trusting you won't disappoint me; make me look bad.
    I'll try you out for a week.  You won't get full hours until
    I think you can handle this job.  Deal?"  Joey put out a
    hand to shake and Stephen/Paddy placed his hand in Joey's to
    clinch it.  Joey took out a wad of cash from his pocket.
    "I'll pay you right up front for a week, so you can see this
    job is in good faith.  You get to keep the money even if it
    doesn't work out after the week trial run.  Tony's one of my
    best workers, he'll show ya the ropes.  Won't ya Tony?"
    Tony smiled but it came out false, because he knew what the
    next phases of this 'job training' would entail.  "Sure
    Joey." They'd left the office shortly after that and Joey
    laughed to hear the innocence of the kid quietly say to
    Tony. "What ropes do I have to look at Tony?  What'd he mean
    by that?". His customers were gonna like this fresh new
    talent he could tell already.
    
    It had been about a week and a half since Stephen/Paddy had
    run from Fraser.  Joey had seen a mountie two days ago
    nosing around one of his clubs asking about a kid that
    looked like Stephen/Paddy.  He wouldn't say what the kid had
    done or what he was running from, just that it was
    imperative that he find him.  Joey chalked it up to just
    another hardluck run away story, but this kid must have come
    all the way from Canada.  He could kind of hear it in the
    way the kid talked.  No wonder a mountie was looking for him
    then.  Joey figured he'd give up soon and go back north
    where he came from empty-handed.
    
    The week working at the club was an unusual and eye opening
    experience for Stephen/Paddy.  Most of the people who came
    into the place were the strangest that he'd ever met in his
    young life and certainly lacking in manners and good
    behavior.  Tony had trained and versed him in the different
    drinks served and gave him all kinds of advice and tips on
    how to do the job more efficiently and avoid nasty
    situations with drunk patrons.  Every now and again Tony
    would disappear for stretches of time, but Stephen/Paddy
    would be busy and soon not wonder where his friend had gone
    off to, assuming it was a break or something like that.
    Tony had seniority here despite his age and perhaps that
    gave him certain privileges.
    
    Tony had been impressed with how quickly the kid picked up
    things.  He was like a sponge when it came to information
    such as mixology.  Rarely would Tony ever have to repeat
    what was in a certain mixed drink or what the specials for
    the day were.  The kid moved quickly and smoothly through
    the place, even at its most crowded moments.  Tony found
    himself amused watching the kid.  He laughed at the kid's
    embarrassed reaction to the nude dancer's on the stage, but
    after a couple of days he seemed to not notice any more.
    After a week Tony observed the kid had even gotten
    proficient at gracefully avoiding roving hands with barely a
    hint that he even noticed.  Tony had to laugh the first time
    Stephen/Paddy said to him.  "That big guy with all the rings
    over there just patted my backside.  He's definitely had too
    much to drink if he could do that.  I told him that he must
    have erred in his judgment and he just laughed."  Tony had
    noticed that 'big guy' was watching Stephen/Paddy quite a
    bit and found out later he'd also given the kid a very
    decent tip.  Probably gonna be a repeat customer he figured
    and already had his eye on the kid.  The kid already seemed
    to be doing very well in the tips department, not only for
    his handsome looks, but he had a polite friendly non-
    judgmental way about him that was charming.  Tony hated his
    job, not so much the part he was used to now, but the part
    where he was used to hook others like himself into this
    sleazy lifestyle he couldn't break free from.
    
    The agreed upon time frame had come and gone.  Joey had made
    a special visit to the club one night to check on the kid
    and after a half hour of watching him, called him over to
    his table.  "Good evening Mr. Mandacini.  What can I get for
    you sir?"  Joey liked the way the kid always called him sir,
    it was a sign of respect and good manners.  "Tony's filled
    me in on how you've been working out for me.  Says you're a
    good hard worker.  I've been watchin' ya tonight and I can
    see he's right.  Therefore I think we can safely say you've
    got the job for as long as you want it kid.  Deal?"
    Stephen/Paddy smiled and put his hand out and they shook on
    it.  "Deal."
    
    A few days later, Ray was on his way home from a long shift
    at the precinct when an emergency call from Elaine was
    patched through to him.  "Ray, is Fraser with you?"  Ray
    answered.  "Naw, I'm on my way over to his place now.
    What's up?"  Elaine sounded worried.  "A friend of mine's
    been working undercover on a case involving child
    prostitution.  Sorry to tell you this, but my friend thinks
    he spotted Fraser's run away at the club tonight.  Its a
    place called the Lightening Rod over on Beechwood."  With an
    expletive uttered beneath his breath, which he made sure
    Elaine didn't hear, Ray quickly turned the car around to
    head in the other direction, to get to the club as fast as
    possible.  He responded.  "Elaine I'm on my way over there
    now."  Elaine was concerned for him.  "Ray that's a pretty
    scuzzy neighborhood, you want me to get some back up for
    you?"  Ray smiled at her concern.  "Can you hold off on the
    backup for now Elaine.  I don't want to spook the kid.  And
    I plan on getting a special kind of backup.  I'm gonna call
    for Fraser.  If I can't get hold of him and he checks in for
    me at the precinct, tell him where I've gone alright?"
    Elaine gave in to his request.  "Sure Ray.  Be careful.  Let
    me know when you're on the scene and maybe then you may want
    that other backup?"
    
    Ray hated this part of town.  He didn't come down here all
    that often, because it wasn't an area really covered by his
    precinct.  He didn't want to trample on any of his fellow
    Chicago PD coworker's toes, but this was important enough to
    him that if it happened he wouldn't mind taking the heat for
    it if/'when' Welsh found out.  Welsh always managed to find
    out.
    
    He entered the crowded, smoky, loud and sleazy looking club,
    thinking it was one of the scuzziest he'd ever had the
    misfortune of going to.  He thought he'd seen every club of
    this type recently when Fraser and he got involved with
    helping Ida, the exotic dancer who's boyfriend Brad talked
    about criminal intentions in his sleep.  He'd gone to alot
    of these types of clubs then to track her down.  Looking
    around in this one, he thought it had to be one of the
    worst, if not 'the' worst he'd ever entered.  It put him
    immediately on guard, on alert and observant of everyone as
    his eyes roamed over the main room.  There were a few
    private alcoves to either side of the room, that he couldn't
    see into right away until he did a complete walk through of
    the place.
    
    He'd just about given up his search in here after 15
    minutes, when he turned to see the kid brush past him with a
    tray of drinks for a table on the other side of the room.
    The kid looked to be very familiar with and in control of
    what he was doing, which upset Ray.  He had an overwhelming
    urge to rush up to the kid, snatch him by an arm or his ear
    or his hair - whatever would hurt most - and drag him out of
    here immediately.  But he stood his ground for now, just
    observing.  When he saw someone reach to touch the kid where
    he shouldn't be touched, Ray almost lost it and started to
    get up from his seat to go over and break the guy's arm.
    There was no need to though, as he watched the precise move
    the kid made which had the customer flabbergasted he could
    elude him so quickly.  Ray wondered how long the kid could
    keep that up, until someone finally caught him.  He didn't
    want to find out. 
    
    Unfortunately he knew how sleazeball places like this
    operated.  It disgusted him that these even existed.  He
    walked over to the bar and made himself familiar with the
    bartender there.  Making the right noises and comments until
    he felt the road had been smoothed out enough and he'd
    gotten a feel that his perceptions of how this place ran
    were correct, he said. "That kid over there.  Is he
    available?"  The bartender gave him a suggestive knowing
    look and a sleazy smile.  "Why do ya want to know?  Ya
    interested?"  Ray matched the smile and responded. "Could be
    for the right price."  The bartender responded.  "He's a bit
    more expensive than the rest.  New talent.  Virgin
    merchandise.  Ya still interested?"  Ray was again disgusted
    with this whole place and how easy it had been to arrange
    this peddling of young flesh.  He couldn't believe he was
    here now and that Fraser's kid... *Aw shit, when Benny finds
    out about this, it'll break his heart.  This kid has alot to
    make up for.*... was working in a place like this.  He kept
    up his charade with the bartender, being introduced to
    someone else who handled the 'in'-human transactions.  Ray
    was surprised at how much he ended up spending to clinch the
    deal.  But it was worth it if he could get the kid out of
    here, away from harm and away from going down when the
    undercover guys raided the place.  He'd had to give half the
    money up front, the rest to be delivered later.  He was told
    which room upstairs to go to and wait.
    
    Tony was told about the transaction and he felt his insides
    shiver at the unwelcome but not unexpected news.  The day he
    dreaded was now here.  He'd tried to prepare the kid a
    couple of days ago with some bits and pieces of how he
    earned extra cash.  He'd been a bit harsh in telling the boy
    that he couldn't keep him as an unpaying roommate, the
    expenses were too much for himself, let alone the load he'd
    taken on with Stephen/Paddy staying with him.  He'd played
    the game as Joey wanted and it hurt to see how he treated
    the kid after that.  He knew what the kid was feeling, he'd
    been there before a few years ago.  Tony knew the right
    buttons to push, because they were the same ones that were
    used on him.  Joey had shared with Tony some information
    he'd gotten on the kid from a mountie that had shown up at
    one of his clubs.  It wasn't much, but it was enough to use
    as leverage against the kid to let Stephen/Paddy know they
    knew he was wanted by the Canadian mounties.
    
    Tony hated what he was about to do and cursed Joey, his
    benefactor, for making him into someone he despised.  "Hey
    Steve, ya gotta minute?"  Stephen/Paddy finished what he was
    doing at one of the tables and gave him a friendly smile.
    "Be right there."  Tony took him to a secluded alcove and
    let him know there was a 'customer' inquiring about him.
    Tony made it sound like this was a good deal, could lead to
    enough money to start the kid up in an apartment of his own;
    and played on what he knew already of the things that
    interested the boy.  He'd learned too much about the kid in
    the two and half weeks they'd roomed together.  The
    friendship they'd developed over that time was now being
    used against the kid and perverted into something which
    saddened him.  He'd given the kid some advice, explained a
    few house rules about this aspect of the job, then gave him
    the room number and time for the meet.  "Its up to you...
    its not so bad after a while."  He lied, but it was
    partially true, after almost 5 years he'd managed to grow
    numb to that part of his life now.
    
    "Tony?", the trusting voice and eyes didn't finish the
    question, just his name and nothing more, but he knew the
    kid wanted his reassurance.  "Come see me after and we can
    talk about it, ok?  I'll make sure I'm available."  He knew
    he didn't want to talk about what the kid would go through,
    it would make him relive his first too, but he felt he owed
    it to him to offer this support.  "Sure Tony."  *Oh god...*
    Tony said to himself, realizing with a shiver that the way
    the kid said 'Sure Tony' was the same way, tone and all,
    that Tony always responded to Joey.  It scared him to
    realize he'd become to this kid, like Joey was to Tony.
    How'd that happen?  As the kid started to leave him, he
    grabbed the boy's hand in a reassuring squeeze and at the
    same time pressed a couple of condoms into the soft young
    hand, startling the boy.  Then he caught his eyes
    communicating his message loud and clear and verbalized it
    as well - "Protect yourself."
    
    The door opened hesitantly and slowly as the kid entered
    apprehensively.  Seeing the boy for the first time face to
    face, Ray was amazed at the striking resemblance he
    definitely had to Ben.  Another Ben was just too miraculous
    for Ray to comprehend, but he reminded himself not to fall
    for this kid's look, because Paddy'd proven how different he
    was from his parent already by all the things he'd done so
    far.  Ray wasn't going to forgive and forget so easily.  He
    let his eyes rove over the boy to catalog his features, and
    at the same time he wanted to make the kid think for a few
    minutes about what he'd gotten himself into.  The hair
    coloring and style was different and the nose wasn't quite
    the same; he wasn't as tall or as filled out muscularly as
    his father... yet; but the shape of the face and mouth was
    right and the eyes were almost exactly the mirror of Ben's,
    not just in color, but in the beautiful innocence in them.
    He was feeling himself getting suckered in, but then caught
    himself.
    
    Ray rose from the bed he was seated on, slowly walking over
    to the immobile speechless kid, who he was pleased looked
    the way he should: trembling slightly, naive and unsure how
    he got there.  They hadn't really met formally yet, so Ray
    had the advantage of knowing who the boy was and figured the
    kid didn't recognize him, since the only times he'd been
    over at Fraser's he'd been whispering in the dark to Benny.
    
    He put on one of his most charming phony smiles as he walked
    slowly over to the kid, as he said. "You certainly are a
    handsome boy."  He could see the kid's eyes get wider and
    visibly gulp as he got closer.  Ray again was pleased with
    the reaction of fear he was sensing from Paddy, thinking to
    himself.  *Good.  I want ya to sweat a little.*   Then he
    was within arms reach of the kid, who was trying to back
    away the short distance towards the wall.  Ray lifted his
    hand towards Paddy and... helped him out... by suddenly and
    forcefully pushing the kid's chest near the shoulder, so
    that he'd slam into the wall, as he laid into him with his
    angry words which also felt as if he physically slammed the
    kid.  "What the fuck do you think you're doin' kid?!  Ya
    know you've got your father and grandfather running
    themselves ragged tryin' to find ya and you're here in this
    hell hole the whole time!  Man what's wrong with ya?!  I
    know Benny ain't stupid and far as I can tell Buck ain't
    either, so I don't know where the hell ya got it from!"  The
    frightened shell shocked eyes, that were filling with unshed
    tears, looking into his own almost made him feel sorry for
    the kid... almost. But Paddy just angered him more and more
    when he thought of what he'd put his father through.  It was
    gonna kill Fraser to know what his son had gotten himself
    messed up in; his being underage working at a sleazy club
    amongst the scum of the earth, and it turned Ray's stomach
    to think about the other functions of the kid's job, and
    prayed he'd gotten here in time that it hadn't gone that
    far.  From Paddy's reactions he was reading that he was his
    first 'customer' of this type.
    
    "Oh god.  You're him right?  The guy in Fraser's
    apartment... the cop?"  Ray smiled viciously, nodding in
    response at the kid.  "God ain't gonna be able to help you,
    if you don't get your butt out of this place with me now!
    We'll have time for introductions later, over tea and
    biscuits, but now I suggest we get movin'.  I think Fraser
    and Buck aren't too far behind me if I know mounties."
    
    The kid was angry at being treated like this, by someone he
    barely knew.  He couldn't stop himself from blurting out,
    "Who are you to judge me?  You and Fraser are gay, so why
    should this bother you?".  As soon as he said this he wished
    he could take it back, but it was too late.  Ray's jaw
    dropped when he heard his lifestyle choice, which he thought
    was hidden, spoken of so matter of fact and in the open like
    this; coming out of the mouth of a child.  The boy must have
    seen them kissing at the apartment he realized.  This
    comment wasn't endearing the kid to him right now, but he
    managed to respond with just barely controlled ferocity.
    "Kid you've got alot of growing up to do, if you mistake my
    love for Fraser with what's going on here.  Don't you dare
    dirty it.  And yes THIS DOES BOTHER ME!  It *should* bother
    you too!  What if it hadn't been me here now as your first
    'customer'?  You got lucky, because against my better
    judgment, I care about what happens to you.  It could've
    been someone else... some sicko or homicidal maniac who
    could care less about you; give ya AIDs, beat ya, get ya
    hooked on drugs.  In my line of work, I've seen what happens
    to kids like you, in places like this.  It ain't pretty.
    And don't ya dare say ya can take care of yourself.  Because
    you've already proven to me ya can't."  The frightened
    quivering lip and dejected eyes let him know that he was
    starting to get through to the kid.  A choked out stammer
    was his response, when Paddy realized now how in the wrong
    he was.  "I'm...I'm sor...sorry."  Ray was relentless.  "Ya
    should be!  Now we gotta get outta here, before my time's
    gonna be up."
    
    Feeling a little steadier now, his curiosity needed to be
    sated, in regards to the man he once thought was his father
    - Bruce.  "You mentioned my father's looking for me too?"
    Ray didn't look like he wanted, or had the time, to talk
    when they should be moving before his allotted time with the
    boy was up.  "Oh he is... he's stayed up in Canada in case
    you decided to go back on your own and to work with the
    authorities on that side of the border.  He's been callin'
    every day from Runamuckluk checking up on us.  But I meant
    Fraser.  He knows he's your father now.  You've had him
    worried to death, even before he knew who you were.  He's
    like that.  Ya got lucky to have a dad like him.  Ya better
    be worth it kid, because I hate seein' him hurt." 
    
    He grabbed onto the kids arm hard and started to pull him
    along with him out of the room.  At the end of the hallway
    near the top of the stairs, they were met by a big burly
    wall of a man. "Sorry but the merchandise don't leave with
    ya.  Ya only get what ya paid for and no more.  Got it?  Let
    the boy go."  But Ray was in a foul mood and this place was
    really getting to him, so that although the man was more
    than double Ray's size and weight he was ready to fight him.
    "Kid's comin' with me and I don't think you're gonna stop
    me."  He would have flashed his badge, but he had left it in
    the car, along with his holster and gun.  But he had his
    small caliber back-up gun in his pocket.  He'd moved it from
    his leg to his pocket while waiting in the room for Paddy.
    He was trying to pull it out of his pocket now, but the guy
    yanked his arm roughly, having an idea what he was up to.
    That's when he caught a flash of Fraser at the bottom of the
    stairs.  "Paddy!" he'd heard Fraser call out to his son as
    he rushed up the couple of flights of stairs to get to them.
    Ray fought like a wild man with this bear of a man grappling
    with him.  But he wasn't gaining any ground.  Paddy was
    trying to get by the fighting men to go to his father, but
    his way kept getting blocked by them.  Then Ray somehow had
    the gun out of his pocket and in his hand ready to use it on
    his attacker.  What happened next was too horrendous.  The
    gun in his hand was being forced to point at Paddy.  Ray
    kept trying to move his arm, despite the pain it was causing
    him, to not point at the boy who was at close range.
    
    In a matter of seconds it came down to the worst decision
    Fraser would ever have to make.  How had that happened?
    Here he was having to choose who's aid he'd come to -  his
    lover or his son.  The loss of either one was unthinkable to
    him and too painful to even imagine.  But there was Ray
    being overpowered by a man who looked ready to snap him in
    two and there was the gun that was pointed now at Paddy,
    with Ray's hand forced to do so.  Fraser made his decision
    and in seconds placed himself between the gun and Paddy,
    embracing the boy to ensure he was fully protected with his
    body and to just feel him in his arms again should this be
    the last time he could do so.  The gun went off and he felt
    the searing heat from the bullet impact with his body, the
    force of it and his position on the stairs at the time
    caused him to tumble down the flight of stairs.  As he fell,
    he was conscious of making sure he released his son, so as
    not to drag him down with him.  While falling, he could hear
    Ray's anguished cry, "BENNY!!!  OH GOD NO!!!", paralleled by
    Paddy's terrified "DAD!!!"  Paddy had only fallen down the
    first few stairs with him and was ok having been cushioned
    by his father, who he tried to hold on to, but the man
    wouldn't grab on to him, as he fell the rest of the way
    down, ending in a crumpled heap at the foot of the landing.
    
    Ray now had the force of adrenaline needed, he was filled
    with enough anger and fear, that the guy he was fighting
    didn't have a prayer.  Ray kept smashing his attacker
    against the wall and bit his arm hard enough to draw blood.
    The next thing to happen was the man went out through the
    glass of the hallway window.  Ray didn't even spare him
    another moment's thought, because he could only think of his
    lover, shot once again by his hand, crumpled at the bottom
    of the stairs with a crying Paddy kneeling down next to him.
    He was down the stairs instantly and placing his hand
    fearfully against his lover's neck.  He breathed a sigh of
    relief when he felt a pulse, although it was too slow.
    Pulling out his cellular phone, he called for an ambulance.
    
    Ben's eyes opened briefly at the touch of Ray's hand at his
    neck.  He reached out a hand to wipe at the tears on his
    sons face and then down to hold a frightened sobbing Paddy's
    hand. "I'm sorry." Paddy said through his tears.  Ben tried
    to smile at his son through his pain and softly squeezed the
    kid's hand.  Speaking between intakes of short breaths.  "I
    know."  He then looked over at Ray, who looked as though he
    wanted to cry, Fraser knew how horrible it was the first
    time Ray had shot him, for him to have shot him again,
    caused Fraser to worry about his lover.  He wanted to
    reassure him that he didn't blame Ray for this second
    gunshot wound, that it was Ben's choice to be shot, but he
    was having trouble talking now.  Ray leaned his ear close to
    Ben's mouth to catch what he was saying.  He just barely
    gasped out. "Love Ray.  Take care Paddy."  Ray placed his
    head next to Fraser's and softly spoke in his ear, yet loud
    enough for him to hear it. "I'm sorry I shot you again
    Benny.  Oh god I can't believe it.  I love you Benny.  I
    wish it were me in your place.  Don't worry I'll take care
    of him as if he were my own.  Don't leave me."  Ben saw a
    tear escape Ray, as he followed his words with a soft kiss
    near his lover's ear.  Fraser smiled and his eyes closed as
    he drifted into darkness.
    
    Three days had passed since the events which put Fraser into
    a coma.  It was Christmas Eve day, but to Ray, Paddy and
    Buck they barely registered it as a holiday, because they
    didn't have a reason to celebrate.  Ray had been true to his
    word to Fraser and with Buck's help they took care of their
    depressed charge.  Ray had to take Paddy in for questioning
    in the early morning after the horrific events happened.
    Welsh had arranged it so they could stay at the hospital
    until they got their first reports on Fraser's condition and
    had gotten to see him for themselves.  The gun shot wound
    had only slightly grazed Ben on his shoulder, it hadn't
    truly entered his body.  The part that was bad was the fall
    he'd taken down the stairs resulted in a head injury, which
    wouldn't have been as bad, except it was where he had
    already suffered one before.  He'd aggravated the healing
    that had already taken place there, since that other
    nightmarish time when Ray and he had been trapped in the
    wilderness up north together after their plane crashed.
    
    Ray was sleeping fully clothed on the other bed in the room,
    while Paddy sat reading a day old newspaper in a chair near
    his comatose father.  Ray and Paddy had come to a tenuous
    understanding about each other over the past couple of days.
    At the precinct after the dreadful incident, Paddy was
    surprised at how supportive and vehement Ray had been on his
    behalf, in regards to his having been a suspect in the
    robbery in Moosejaw.  He'd been very protective of him and
    seemed to be able to out shout or out talk anyone who tried
    to even hint anything to the contrary of Paddy's innocence.
    
    Paddy had caught Louise St Laurent, the States Attorney,
    trying to flirt with Ray as she entered the interrogation
    room where he, Ray, Welsh and 2 Canadian representatives
    were already present.  Paddy was amazed at the thought that
    came to mind at that. *Sorry lady but he's already taken.*
    She had gotten involved in his case to sort out the tricky
    legalities of the case from the US perspective.  She argued
    well on Paddy's behalf, dealt with her Canadian counterparts
    diplomatically and had been doing her homework.  She'd had
    enough evidence and proof to show that Paddy couldn't have
    been involved in the robbery.  His alibi as to where he was
    at the time of the robbery was airtight; his fingerprints
    hadn't been on any of the money; the one man that had the
    right color eyes and build, had had a lisp when he spoke and
    Paddy had a beautifully clear speaking voice; and the list
    went on.  She had concluded that the only thing the kid was
    really guilty of was stealing a thief's car and seeing as
    the truck hadn't been reported stolen, he really shouldn't
    be held for that.  Her Canadian counterparts had agreed with
    her assessment of Paddy's involvement.  This was especially
    so when his so-called 'theft' of the truck in turn resulted
    in the capture of one of the thieves and soon after the
    other.  Their whereabouts had been revealed when Paddy
    repeated what he'd overheard of the one robber's phone
    conversation in his grandmother's general store.
    
    As Paddy continued to read the newspaper, he was surprised
    that there was barely anything written about the man that
    Paddy once called a friend in the piece on the child
    prostitution ring as reported by MacKenzie King.  She'd
    written about this when the operation had been taken down by
    an undercover team 2 nights earlier.  It only gave a brief
    sentence to reveal that a young man named Tony Riviera had
    been found beaten to death in one of the rooms that Paddy
    knew all too well now.
    
    Jimmy, the other kid who worked the club, came by earlier
    that evening to tell him about Tony.  Which prompted Tony to
    find this newspaper.  Jimmy had escaped the raids of all of
    Joey's clubs, because he had run earlier when he'd
    accidentally seen the man who killed Tony leaving the room
    where Tony's body had been found.  A frightened Jimmy
    relayed the killer's identity to Paddy, which caused his
    blood to go cold.  It was that repeat customer who always
    tipped Paddy really well and had his eye on him... the big
    guy with the rings.   It brought his stupidity in thinking
    he knew how to handle himself into perspective and he
    realized that he could easily have been the one to be found
    beaten and murdered instead of Tony.  The thought of how
    close he could have come to this fate caused him to shiver.
    Paddy had convinced Jimmy to talk with Ray about what he'd
    seen and Ray had ensured Jimmy was taken care of.  Jimmy had
    also dropped off a Christmas gift Tony had left at the
    apartment for Paddy.  The gift had been a beautiful wallet
    with a note inside which read:
    
    Steve,
    
    Merry Christmas.
    
    Your friend,
    
    Tony  
    
    Paddy placed the newspaper down, he was having a hard time
    reading it all the way through.  He placed it on the chair
    which he now vacated so he could step close to his father's
    side.  While he spoke to his father, he removed the old RCMP
    issue watch from his wrist, and slid it back onto the wrist
    of the unmoving man on the bed, whom he'd stolen it from.
    "I don't deserve to keep this and you don't deserve to have
    a son like me.  I bet you wish you never even knew I was
    alive.  I should have stayed as nothing to you.  You
    wouldn't be lying here now, if I'd never tried to find you."
    That night when he'd taken the watch, so long ago it seemed,
    he'd done it impulsively; not really thinking why as he
    grabbed it from the bedsidetable.  When he'd realized what
    he'd done, for a minute he thought he could pawn it, but
    then for sentimental reasons he found he couldn't part with
    it.  It was all he would have as a memento of his real
    father and it became too priceless for him to sell after
    that.  But now he felt he had tarnished what it
    represented... his father's goodness and the law.  He didn't
    deserve to wear it let alone even touch it.  Forlorn,
    dejected and feeling sorry for himself he left the room, not
    sure where he was headed, but just away from the foreboding
    fear of losing another parent so soon after the first.
    These sad thoughts of his clung to and followed him down the
    hospital corridor, along with everything he'd heard from
    Jimmy, read in the paper about what he'd gotten himself and
    his father messed up into, his guilt for his mother's
    death... the list went on and on in his head for how
    worthless he was.  He wandered the halls, aimless, just like
    his life he thought to himself.
    
    Fraser was in a strange place which was impossibly dark and
    colorful at the same time.  Through the murk of it he could
    just make out a shimmering form of pure white light and hear
    his name being called faintly from somewhere and everywhere
    at once.  The light was so inviting and the voice so
    melodic, he wanted to follow wherever it would lead.  "Ben.
    Ben.  Wake up Ben.  You can't come with me.  Go back.  Our
    son needs you.  He's starting to give up on hope... on life.
    Be there for him.  Wake up.  He's in the chapel.  Go to him
    Ben.  I love you both."  He felt bereft when the magnificent
    voice was gone and all that was left was a dull pain in his
    head as he roused himself.  His eyes snapped open in an
    instant, startling the man who was by his bedside.  Ray was
    thrilled to see his lover awake again. "Welcome back Benny."
    He leaned to kiss Ben, but was met by air where his lover
    had once been.  Ben was suddenly upright and moving
    robotlike and swiftly out of the bed, seemingly unaware of
    the worried man at his side.  "Benny?   What's wrong Benny?
    Where ya goin'?"  Ben was focused just on the one thing
    which the voice had requested he do and nothing else
    registered, not even the concerned hand on his arm, trying
    to get him to slow down and turn back.
    
    Fraser continued walking with a worried Ray watching him
    carefully, thinking he was in a sleepwalking trance.  Ray
    had heard it wasn't wise to try to wake a sleepwalker, so he
    hovered closely behind and let Ben go on his course
    unimpeded now.  He was amazed to see his friend make a very
    precise, almost military-like turn, as he entered the small
    hospital chapel.  There were a few people in here now,
    because of the short mass that was being given to recognize
    the midnight hour which marked the holy day, Christmas, that
    was to follow.  Ray watched as Fraser seemed to be looking
    for someone, first his head methodically turned to the left,
    then the right, as he walked slowly along the main aisle
    towards the altar and the priest who had stopped his sermon
    to watch the man who had interrupted with his presence.
    Then suddenly Ben did a curious thing, he began to sing.  At
    first he seemed to have trouble remembering the words, but
    as the confidence in his memory grew stronger, so did his
    voice.  The song was familiar to Ray it was a Christmas
    carol called "What Child Is This?".  After a short time, he
    could swear he heard underneath Ben's voice an echo; another
    voice was tentatively trying to join his...  quiet at first,
    with a slight tremble in it, but then it grew in volume and
    richness, until it flowed into an achingly beautiful harmony
    with Ben.  Then there was Paddy coming out from the shadows
    in the back of the chapel, each step increasing in speed
    until he was at his father's side.  Ben turned his head, as
    the last of the song left his mouth, and his hand went to
    his son's tear slicked chin to turn his face to look into
    his own.  Then he placed a gentle kiss on the boy's cheek
    and embraced him. "Don't be afraid.  You're not alone any
    more.  Stop running.  I'm here."
    
    WHAT CHILD IS THIS?  a Christmas carol
    
    What child is this, who, laid to rest,
    On Mary's lap is sleeping?
    Whom angels greet with anthems sweet,
    While shepherds watch are keeping?
    
    This, this is Christ the King,
    Whom shepherds guard and angels sing:
    Haste, haste to bring him laud,
    The babe, the son of Mary.
    
    Why lies he in such mean estate
    Where ox and ass are feeding?
    Good Christian, fear: for sinners here
    The silent Word is pleading.
    
    Nails, spear shall pierce Him through,
    The Cross be borne for me, for you;
    Hail, hail, the Word made flesh,
    The Babe, the Son of Mary.
    
    So bring him incense, gold, and myrrh,
    Come, peasant, king, to own him.
    the King of kings salvation brings,
    Let loving hearts enthrone him.
    
    Raise, raise the song on high,
    The Virgin sing her lullaby:
    Joy, joy, for Christ is born,
    The Babe, the Son of Mary.
    
    THE END?  WELL NOT QUITE YET...
    
    EPILOGUE 1: WHAT CHILD DID THIS?
    
    "Son what time is it?"
    "Why should you care dad?  You're dead.  Is there some
    pressing appointment in the afterlife you're late for?
    Don't let me keep you."
    "Well if you didn't know what time it was, you could have
    just said so.  Where's that watch of mine you're holding for
    me?"
    "Its with its rightful owner now dad.  Its with Paddy... my
    son."
    "What?  Oh dear merciful heaven you could warn a body when
    you're gonna say something like that."
    "Dad you don't have a body any more."
    "Well that's no excuse to discriminate against me.  Besides
    I'm too young to have a grandchild, especially one his age.
    Frobisher yes.  Me no.  Buck was always old for as long as I
    can remember."
    "I heard that Fraser."
    "Hey Buck who invited you into this conversation?  Can't you
    see I'm having an important discussion with my son?"
    "Well in a sense he's like my son too Bob."
    "Oh I never thought I'd live to see this day.  Don't tell me
    this means I'm related to your mangy hide now."
    "You didn't live to see it Bob.  You keep forgetting you're
    dead.  I hope you don't think I like being related to you
    either.  I know too much about you, you old buzzard."
    "Oh now I know."
    "Know what Bob?"
    "Feeding the horses.  Oh brother.  I fell for that old line?
    Should have known something was up from all that hay he
    tracked into my car."
    
    Fraser Jr was blushing slightly and shaking his head as he
    listened to them go on, but couldn't help smiling at these
    two senior officers - two men he respected highly - one who
    was his father and the other who also treated him like one.
    He could tell from knowing them both all his life and their
    tone of good natured bickering, that they really did enjoy
    the fact that through Paddy they were even though not
    related through a marriage, they were now through blood.  He
    looked over still smiling, as he watched his own son Paddy
    with an appreciative Diefenbaker, who was being spoiled with
    pets and scratches behind his ears, in the other room.
    
    Paddy had been looking over every now and again, giving
    himself and Buck a strange expression like he was afraid
    insanity ran on both sides of the family.  He laughed to
    himself as he walked over to his son and placed his arm
    around his shoulders to lead him out of the room, through
    the door and downstairs to wait for Ray to come pick them up
    for dinner.  A strange morbid thought crossed his mind as he
    voiced a vague part of it out loud. "Don't worry, some day
    you'll understand what that was all about."  He didn't
    finish, because he didn't want to scare his son with his own
    mortality or the thought that he would undoubtedly appear to
    Paddy as a ghost some day.  It was a family disorder he was
    hoping to inherit.  THE END OR IS IT?  
    
    EPILOGUE 2: MY CHILD DID THIS
    
    "Ok, so there's this rabbi, this priest and a mountie..."
    Fraser turned around suddenly at his lover's voice about to
    relay an off-color joke.  His eyes went wide when he
    realized who Ray was telling it to.  Ben immediately made a
    bee-line for his errant friend thinking to himself, *I knew
    I shouldn't have left him on his own for so long.*  He
    hadn't really left him for all that long.  Five minutes was
    all it took for Ray to find the highest ranked RCMP officer
    in the room and strike up a conversation. "Then the mountie
    says..."  Fraser picked that perfect moment to butt in,
    causing both the RCMP officer and Ray to smirk.  "Excuse me
    sir.  Ray I need to speak with you regarding the case we're
    working on."  Ray laughed inwardly seeing his friend's quite
    comical distress.  He knew Fraser was uncomfortable with
    official functions and followed a strict discipline of
    etiquette when faced with them, unlike Ray.  He knew Fraser
    was easily embarrassed so he let Ben off the hook.  "Sorry
    George I'll have to finish this some other time.  Duty
    calls... you understand."  The RCMP officer gave him a
    knowing smile. "Sure Ray.  I'll speak with you later.  I do
    want to know how this ends.  My friends at my luncheon
    tomorrow may benefit from it.  And I can tell you the one
    about the Prime Minister, the Pope and the cop."  Ray's
    curiosity was piqued at that, but he felt Fraser's insistent
    hand on his arm, trying to lead him away.  Fraser curtly
    nodded at his commanding officer.  "Sorry sir.  Excuse us."
    Behind Fraser's back Ray signaled with his hand and
    mouthed. "Later."
    
    When they'd gone to a private section of the room away from
    the other guests, Ray quietly spoke jokingly, knowing
    already what the problem was.  "Yes oh light of my life?
    What's so urgent?"  Fraser to anyone who looked over at them
    would seem to be calm, but to Ray who had learned the signs
    through years of intimacy, knew his friend was quite
    agitated.  "Ray I just turned my back on you for a couple of
    minutes and already you're into trouble.  Do you know who
    that was?"  Ray teased his nervous lover.  "Of course I do.
    My mother taught me some manners.  We introduced ourselves
    first Benny.  Ya know George is a pretty good guy for a
    bureaucratic mountie.", he teased.  "Besides ya should know
    after all these year's together, trouble's my middle name.
    At least I haven't kissed ya or touched ya in front of your
    colleague's... yet.  And believe me I've wanted to since we
    first got here."  Fraser was turning the color of his
    uniform, looking around to make sure no one heard what his
    friend just confessed.  "Ray, you wouldn't?"  Ray smiled
    devilishly for a few seconds, then grew serious as he looked
    sincerely into those melting blue eyes that gazed into his
    so anxiously.  "Don't worry.  I promise I'll behave.  I know
    how important this day is to you.  But when we're back at
    the hotel tonight, don't expect me to stick to it."  He
    smiled suggestively at his lover, knowing well after so much
    time together, that Ben was thinking along the same lines as
    he was now.  Fraser just smiled back at him, shaking his
    head in resignation.  "Thanks alot Ray.  I'm enjoying the
    thoughts, but they really don't fit in with the atmosphere
    here."  Ray touched his arm briefly, concern etched in his
    face now.  "Benny relax.  I'm sorry.  Its ok.  Everything's
    going well.  Besides I think its time now.  Come on lets go
    see the show."
    
    The 'show' Ray referred to was the reason they were visiting
    Canada in the first place.  It was the induction ceremony of
    new RCMP officers, with Patrick 'Paddy' O'Connor chief among
    them.  He'd been top of his class, which didn't surprise Ray
    at all, knowing who his father and grandfathers were... all
    three top grade RCMP officers.  It seemed only natural to
    Ray that the son of the man he loved would rise to so high
    an honor already in his young life.  Paddy looked very
    handsome and comfortable in the serge uniform his father and
    grandfathers had worn with pride before him.  Looking to the
    other side of Fraser, he saw Buck and Bruce actually being
    friendly with and sitting next to each other, both looking
    quite proud.  But the immense pride, joy and love he saw in
    his lover's face as he watched his son made Ray smile.  For
    this moment Ray felt the kid was definitely worth the
    trouble he'd caused a number of years earlier.  In the time
    since then Paddy had come to be special to Ray as well as
    he'd gotten to know the boy, who was now a man.
    
    Their initial meeting long ago had been pretty rocky, but
    gradually they came to understand and really like each
    other.  When they had finally cleared up the mess Paddy had
    gotten himself tangled up in, Bruce had come down from
    Canada to see them.  He'd had a reunion and reconciliation
    with his son that was awkward at first, but it was apparent
    that Bruce had loved the boy even though he wasn't his own
    flesh and blood.  It then came to a meeting between Bruce
    and Fraser that Ray wasn't privy to.  They'd spoken at
    length about Paddy's immediate future.  Ray remembered being
    surprised at the outcome of their talk.  Fraser had asked
    Paddy to stay with him in Chicago if he wanted to.
    
    Bruce being an engineer for an oil company had been offered
    the job of his dreams in Saudi Arabia slightly before Paddy
    had come to live with him, around the time of his mother's
    tragic death.  He'd turned the offer down due to his
    traumatized teenaged son coming full time into his life
    then.  Before leaving Canada to reclaim his son, he'd heard
    the position he'd wanted hadn't been filled yet.  Bruce was
    still interested, but was willing to leave it behind again
    to take care of his son.  When Fraser had learned of this
    and with his desire to get to know Paddy better, he'd asked
    if he could keep the boy with him in Chicago.  Bruce was
    really a decent man and didn't feel right about giving up
    the boy he'd called his son for sixteen years.  Fraser
    convinced him it wasn't giving up Paddy, but sharing their
    son and this solution would benefit them all.  When Ben had
    asked Paddy to stay with him in the US, the kid seemed
    apprehensive at first, not wanting to pit one father against
    the other.  After having a heart to heart talk with Bruce,
    he decided to stay with Fraser, because he too wanted to get
    to know his biological father better.
    
    Fraser had requested Thatcher's help in acquiring a special
    VISA for Paddy to stay with him in the US.  Surprisingly
    she'd been very understanding and helpful in that regard
    when she found out the nature of his relationship to Paddy.
    Paddy had been enrolled in one of the public high schools
    and quickly caught up to his fellow classmates.  In the
    beginning it had been quite an adjustment for Ray as to
    where he stood in this new situation that had developed in
    his relationship to Fraser.  He recalled, ashamed now that
    he thought back on it, that for a little while he'd been
    very jealous of the attention and time that Fraser spent
    with Paddy instead of him.  Ray had been spoiled by how much
    time and privacy they had together before and missed that
    luxury.  Ray had liked being the center of Fraser's
    attention and affection and didn't like sharing, especially
    with a kid who at that time still had alot to make up for in
    Ray's mind.
    
    Somehow Fraser had managed to reassure him that he was still
    as important and loved by him even though he now had someone
    else in his life now.  Paddy having known about Ray and
    Fraser's relationship had actually been very understanding
    about it, which helped in endearing the kid to Ray over
    time.  Paddy'd gone out of his way on a number of occasions
    to ensure they had their privacy, which both Ray and Fraser
    appreciated.  When Ray had realized that the kid really was
    alot like his father in his manner and treatment of others,
    that had also helped in his growing to care about Paddy as
    well.  After almost 2 years of Paddy living with Fraser,
    he'd announced his desire to return to Canada after
    graduating from high school, in order to join the RCMP in
    the fall of that year. 
    
    Today marked the end result of that decision, as the newly
    inducted mountie made his way over to his family after being
    released from his ceremonial duties.  His grandfather
    stopped to greet him first.  He teased.  "You might want to
    fix that lanyard of your's kid."  Paddy quickly checked and
    looked worried that he'd been seen not looking anything but
    picture book perfect in his uniform during the ceremony. "Oh
    dear."  Then his grandfather laughed.  "Caught ya!  I've
    been waiting a long time to say that to you.
    Congratulations kid, you're in good company.  I know you'll
    do that uniform proud."  He smiled at his grandfather, who
    was looking pretty good these days and heaven help any
    criminals that crossed his path, Paddy laughed to himself.
    "Thank you grandpa.  I mean sir."
    
    The next to get his attention was a very tan Bruce.  "Hi
    Paddy.  Its been a while.  I've missed you.  So is it too
    late to get you interested in engineering?"  They laughed.
    "Hi dad.  I've missed you too.  Thanks for all the letters.
    Looks like life abroad has been good to you."  "Can't
    complain.  Except for the heat.  I can't seem to live
    anywhere that doesn't have extreme temperatures.  When you
    have some time off come over and visit again."  Bruce smiled
    and clapped him on the back and shook his hand.
    "Congratulations son, I'm proud of you." Paddy was happy at
    his father's acceptance of his career choice.  "Thanks dad."
    
    As he stepped away from his father he moved to Ray's side.
    "Am I interrupting?"  Ray who was now flanked by two
    mounties, Fraser on his left and Paddy on his right,
    immediately pulled out his sunglasses and put them on as he
    teased.  "Do you mind?  There's only so much of that color
    red my poor eyes can take."  Paddy and Fraser laughed at the
    good natured teasing.  "Kid you did great.  Welcome to the
    wonderful world of law enforcement.  Anything you need or
    help required, you know who to call..."  "You?"  Ray smiled
    and pointed over at Ben. "No daddy dearest.  I'm just here
    for the buffet."  With that he started to leave for the
    aforementioned food table.  But not before he shook the
    kid's hand and whispered in his ear.  "Ya turned out pretty
    good kid.  Don't be a stranger.  Oh and you have my
    permission to tease your sap of a father mercilessly.  I
    caught him misty eyed during the ceremony." with this said
    he placed a quick light kiss on his cheek, that wasn't
    noticeable to anyone but themselves and Fraser.  He made a
    well timed exit, so father and son could talk privately.
    
    Paddy was laughing at what Ray had told him.  "Ray certainly
    is unique dad.  I like him."  "I'm glad.  So do I."  Fraser
    brushed at imaginary nothings on his son's uniform, mostly
    just to touch him and know that he was real and this was not
    a dream.  He avoided his eyes for a few seconds than looked
    deeply into those of his son and saw so much there...
    excitement, happiness, anticipation and youthful lust for
    adventure...  Alot of what he felt when he'd first been
    inducted, so many years ago.  "So do you have your first
    assignment yet?"  Paddy smiled.  "Yes.  I'm temporarily
    stationed in Moosejaw for 3 months."  Fraser cringed inside
    at the mention of the town he'd been stationed in for a
    short time.  Remembering Gerard's words about Fraser's
    reputation of thinking it was too urban for his liking.
    "Well its no Chicago, but I'm sure you'll do fine there."
    
    Paddy grabbed and squeezed softly at one of his father's
    hands as it went to straighten something on his uniform that
    didn't need straightening.  "Dad I'll be ok."  Fraser smiled
    over at him bittersweetly.  "I know.  But I can still worry
    about you.  You're my only son after all.  I just want you
    to be healthy, happy and safe."  "I am and I will be.  I had
    good teachers, you for one.  Besides I'm old enough to take
    care of myself now."  Fraser sadly conceded.  "Yes, I
    suppose you are."
    
    Fraser reached over to grab a box from a table next to them.
    "This is for you.  They've helped me in the past, they may
    do the same for you."  Paddy untied the ribbon on the box,
    peering inside he saw some very old journals.  He knew what
    they were without looking further at the treasure his father
    had just given him.  "Dad I can't take these.  These are all
    you have left of grandpa Fraser."  Ben pointed to his head.
    "I have them up here now... and... well... your grandfather
    still visits from time to time.  By the way he enjoyed the
    ceremony and said to give you his congratulations as well.
    He likes the idea of having another generation of the family
    in the RCMP."  Paddy laughed at what he believed to be his
    father's subconscious fantasy of seeing his father's ghost.
    Flipping through the box of journals he realized his father
    had given him some of his own journals as well.  His father
    was sharing more of himself than Paddy could have ever hoped
    for.  At the very bottom of the box there was one wrapped
    gift.  He opened it carefully as his smiling father watched
    on.  It was an empty journal, well not completely empty, the
    first page was marked with today's date and a handwritten
    note:
    
    "My dearest Patrick,
    
    I'm so very proud to have you as a son.  Remember that no
    matter where you are, you'll always have a piece of me with
    you.
    
    Love,
    
    your father
    
    Benton Fraser"
    
    "Oh dad... Ray's right... You are a sap.  I love it.  Thank-
    you kindly.  What's the RCMP etiquette about fellow
    mounties hugging each other?"  Ben laughed. "I don't know
    and I don't care." at that he gathered his son into his arms
    in a tight affectionate embrace.  "I'm so proud of you.  I
    love you Paddy."
    
    Fraser turned his head suddenly at the laughter that was
    coming from the middle of the room.  He knew one of those
    laughs all too well.  He winced inwardly, realizing that Ray
    must have finished that earlier off-color joke for the
    highest ranked officer in the RCMP.  They must have met up
    with one another again while Ben had been distracted with
    Paddy.  Fraser laughed inwardly, no longer nervous or
    worried, hearing 'George' start up now.  "Ok, so the Prime
    Minister, the Pope and a cop go into this bar..."  
    
    THE END.
    I THINK?  WELL AT LEAST FOR NOW... 
    

* * *


End file.
